Life

D-Wade, Who Did You Call A Hero?

Posted on by Cool Pappa

Today I just so happened to catch a story on Dwyane Wade on ESPN’s E60 program. It seemed like a feel-good story about how Wade’s mother, who was addicted to drugs much of Wade’s life, has now made a recovery and re-established her relationship with her son. ESPN reported that Wade grew up in Chicago, protected and reared by his older sister, while his mother used and sold drugs from the family dwelling. After doing various stints in prison, Wade’s mom later got off drugs, became a minister, and was even called a “hero” by her son Dwyane.

Usually in stories like this, I often ask, “Now where was the father?” Sadly, it’s more of a rhetorical question, as I often know the answer. However, in this case, dad was around according to ESPN and Wade. “D-Wade’s” dad was interviewed in the story and had wanted his son to live with him early on as he knew of the things going on in his “baby-mama’s” household. Wade Sr. and Jolinda had divorced when Wade Jr. was a boy. As the boy was becoming a man, Wade Sr.’s son came to live with him with the agreement of his mother Jolinda.

Now, all I know about the life of these three people is what they and ESPN shared in this short piece. But I was left asking, “Should’ve his dad been his hero? Why was the story not about his father, who was now remarried with a family of his own, and how he brought his son home and raised him into a man despite the things he saw his mother do in front of his very eyes?” It seems that the only time the word “hero” should have been used in this story would have been to refer to his dad, not his mother.

This is to not take away from the progress that his mother Jolinda has made in her life. But all too often, even when men do the “right thing”, it really is “no thing” to our society. I dare say, that if D-Wade’s father would have been a drug addict until his college career, the outcome of this story would have been very different. We’ve all heard it before…the “that man was nothing but a sperm donor who didn’t step-up to the plate” or “he didn’t make me the man I am today, my mother was both the mom and dad in my house”. At last report, Shaquille O’Neal’s father was the one addicted to drugs and prison when he was a child, and the two still do not have a relationship to this day.

 

So until I hear otherwise, I want to give a shout of honor to Dwyane Wade Sr., because somebody needs to give him some credit. Not because his son went on to dribble a basketball well and make shots with the sweet-o-meter cranked to high. But because he stepped in to raise a son who would later be a father, a father that would later fight for his own two children in a bitter divorce custody dispute. (See: http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/truehoop/miamiheat/news/story?id=6212517&campaign=rss&source=NBAHeadlines)

Sometimes fathers can teach you much more than how to play sports, but how to be a CornerstoneDad. Sometimes they teach you how to fight for your kids, instead of how to just fight in the street.

Here’s to hoping to hear more about Dwyane Wade Sr. from Dwyane Wade Jr. and the rest of the media.

Perhaps the story below should have been called, The Good Dad:

“Walking With The Kids”

Posted on by Cool Pappa

 

The weather in my area of the United States is finally consistently staying above the freezing mark. I cheer up not only because of the longer days with the sunlight that not only brightens my home but my mood as well, but because I have to opportunity to walk with my kids.

When my first son was born, there was a B-side song that I loved by Huey Lewis called Walking With the Kid. I must honestly confess that the song would hit me emotionally, as I was a non-custodial young father just trying to learn what it was to be a man, let alone a dad to this baby. But the song summarized perfectly the feeling that I had, trying not to be a deadbeat dad like so many around me, yet struggling financially and physically with so-called joint visitation. My time and my physical presence was about all I felt I could give. So Walking With the Kid became our unofficial anthem. I’m sure to this day he has no idea about the song and would probably cringe if he heard it, but I still bounce to it two decades later.

Now, I might have to call the song, Walking With the Kids, as I greatly enjoy the chance to go home and walk with one of the children. It’s an easy way to get Just 15 Minutes with them individually, to find out what’s going on in their world, and to explain my world to them. So far I’ve noticed a difference in the walks already this year, as my nine year old daughter contributes so much more to the conversation and even asks questions. My 11 year old son looks forward to our trips and (in typical guy fashion) takes pride if we run for a few minutes and he can hang right there with me shoulder-to-shoulder. One day soon, he’ll realize it’s not that big of an accomplishment because dad’s not good at running.

Of course, the improvement in health from the exercise is just a side benefit. Our kids need to be taught to move in the 21st century. As one comedian said, when my parents told me to “go play”, I knew that meant to head outside and find something to do. If we say, “Go play” to our children today, they’ll look at us bewildered and ask, “Play what? The Xbox?”

If you have the opportunity to go and walk with your kids, please take the time to do so. Start with once per week, and increase the days as you go along. One day, you may not be able to walk with them or they will not be around or have the time to walk with you. The time you do not take in the present, cannot be saved for the future. Invest and plant while the soil, their hearts and minds, are fertile.

Huey Lewis Walking With The Kid Lyrics

We’re going out on Sunday Afternoon
We’re gonna show the world what were made of
Me & my buddy will be dressed to kill

We’ll cruise to the playgroung & the park
Gonna fool aroung ’til it gets dark
If you think we’ll have some fun well you know we will
All of oursecrets
You know we’re gonna keep ’em hid
When we get home they’ll wanna know
Everything we did

Walking with the kid
Walking with the kid

We’re known around the neighborhood
Yeah we got a real reputation
The bad guys all respect us ’cause we’re family

We’re not afraid of anything at all
Cause we can handle any situation
If my partner gets in trouble well it’s up to me
All our friends are envious
Though they’ll never let it show
Sure enough later on
Everyone’s just gotta know
What we were
What we did

Walking with the kid
Walking with the kid

Walking, talking one on one
Walking, walking with my son

“Junior Raising Junior” – The Cycle of Teenage Fatherhood

Posted on by Cool Pappa

While 13 sounds young enough to make headlines, in many areas of this country, that would not seem too surprising...even less if it's a 13 year old girl!

We often talk about generations of “babies raising babies” in the context of a young mother raising a baby, who later becomes a teenage mom herself. However, what about “junior raising junior”, as in a young father raising a son, who becomes a teenage-father?

An article published at the Yale Office of Public Affairs & Communications (http://opac.yale.edu/news/article.aspx?id=7208) reports that the Yale School of Public Health found sons of adolescent fathers are nearly twice as likely to perpetuate the cycle of young parenthood and become teenage dads themselves. While the deleterious effects of teenage motherhood are well studied, often talked about and greatly feared, teenage-fatherhood if often viewed from a much different perspective. However, like teenage-motherhood, the decision to become a father unleashes challenges for both the father and the child.

Those on the outside looking in often ask, “How could this happen? Did the child not learn the lesson watching the struggles of the parent?”

The article gives some indication as to why the cycle continues. ““The mechanism of this intergenerational cycle remains unclear. However, research suggests that parents are a major factor in shaping adolescent attitudes and often communicate their values and expectations through their behavior,” Sipsma said.”

In other words young dad, your actions speak louder than your words.

In upcoming posts we will explore how to be a Teenage CornerstoneDad. It can be done, it is possible and I am a testimony to this fact. I became a father at 19 years old, while working a “deadend” job and still living with my parents. Suffice to say, it cost me far more than I would have ever imagined.

It will cost you far more than what you or any around you can imagine as well. Understand that I am not just talking about money. But, financially you will pay an enormous price as well.

We will also focus on the possibility of a tremendous payoff. This could be the opportunity of a lifetime for you to step up and be the man that you needed to learn how to be, albeit a bit early and before marriage.

If you are a teenage or even a single-father in your early 20’s, I would like to hear from you. Feel free to post your story in the comments section.

 

CornerstoneDad’s Greatest Day Ever

Posted on by Cool Pappa

Can a cold winter day feel like a beautiful California day?

Well, when kids experience something great in their lives, they often say, “Today was the greatest day ever!” I think CornerstoneDad’s should say the same thing when they take care of business and do something that they know will impact their kid’s life, even if the child does not know it yet.

Today, my “greatest day ever” or GDE, was spent with my 11 year-old son. Since this week at work is rather slow in the office and I only planned to work part of the day there, I figured it would be a great time to take him with me.

On the way to work, we chatted about the importance of loving your work, so you will never have to “work” a day in your life. I let him know that dad is not there yet and probably will not ever get there at his current job. Yet, I am very fortunate to have the job I have as well as some great managers. But I know my God-given talents are not best utilized at this point and even at his age now, he can begin to take notice of the skills God has equipped him with that will allow him to add value just by being himself.

Did you ever notice even in Hollywood, the kids generally grow up to be an extension of the characteristics that the show writers had in them as a little child?

Do you really think Michael Evans did not at least become a lawyer when he grew up?

Many of us lose the script or just move to a sitcom with poor ratings instead of being what the Master Writer designed us to be in the first place.

"We should have just stayed on Three's Company!"

Time was spent meeting my colleagues and I had him brainstorm ideas for creating his own blog. I felt it was extremely important for him to utilize the quiet time that he never gets to enjoy, as his time and space are always being shared with his other siblings when at home. Before leaving to attend my meeting, we called my dad and they had a moment to catch up on things, something I encourage my son to do often.

Get the old school wisdom while it is here, because one day you, or the wisdom, may be gone.

My manager said that my son would be more than welcome to sit in on the meeting and later my son did join in and sit in the back. During this time he got to see how my company does business with a client who works for a major American company, but he is Japanese. A true demonstration of our global world, diversity in the workplace, and why it is important to be at least be proficient in the “King’s English”.

After our time at work, we headed for the movie theater to check out Tron 3D. There aren’t many action filled PG-movies out there, as thrillers like Transformers and GI Joe are getting closer to R-rated flicks than something you can take your boys (or girls if they like action) to see at the local “overcharge-o-plex” theater. Just like dad, my son looked at his watch and asked, “Why is the movie starting at 2 o’clock when it was supposed to start at 1:30?”

Yea, my thoughts exactly kid.

What was the highlight of my son’s day? Seeing dad with dual-monitors! But 10+ years from now, whether I’m here or not, I think he will benefit seeing dad at work, understanding more of the business world, and of course being the center of attention for much of the day. I remember only a few times visiting my dad at the plant. I also remember going with him to pick up his paycheck a couple of times as well. There is much value of those trips for our children, especially our boys, as they can learn so much just watching dad get up and go to the office, or the factory, or the construction site, or wherever else you go to “keep the lights on”. I am amazed at the number of grown men that cannot keep a job because they cannot get out of the bed to punch the clock. Don’t let your kids be one of those people.

As I told my son, I may not want to go to work, but I go because of the commitment I have to our family and to God. Colossians 3:23-24 says, ”Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”

I look forward to more GDE days with all of my children. Dad, plan some with your children or even grandchildren. Take one out at a time if you can. Each child is an individual with separate needs and wants from you. As they get older, the need for individual time increases even more. And if you don’t give it to them, what are you going to do when they get it from somewhere else?

Great days with dad will equal great children and leaders in this society. Never underestimate, or allow other people to underestimate your influence. 2011 is nearly here, so how about making a goal to schedule at least three or four GDE events with your kids? Post your days and ideas here as we would love to hear how things went for you!

Why Do I Homeschool You Ask? Wait, Why Do You Send Your Kids To School?

Posted on by Cool Pappa

 

It is time for me to come out of the closet here at CornerstoneDad. My wife and I homeschool our children. There, I said it. I know, I know, you probably have a ton of questions and they are well meaning. However, some of you do not have true questions, but criticisms about a decision we made for our family.

I do not know why. I would never ask you if your kids attend government schools and then go on to ask more questions in a condescending way. But there is so much on this subject that I will write about in the future. So first, I will kick off my “coming out party” with the greatest article that I have found for the critics.

Enjoy!

Source: http://www.secular-homeschooling.com/001/bitter_homeschooler.html

The Bitter Homeschooler’s Wish List

by Deborah Markus, from Secular Homeschooling, Issue #1, Fall 2007

1 Please stop asking us if it’s legal. If it is — and it is — it’s insulting to imply that we’re criminals. And if we were criminals, would we admit it?

2 Learn what the words “socialize” and “socialization” mean, and use the one you really mean instead of mixing them up the way you do now. Socializing means hanging out with other people for fun. Socialization means having acquired the skills necessary to do so successfully and pleasantly. If you’re talking to me and my kids, that means that we do in fact go outside now and then to visit the other human beings on the planet, and you can safely assume that we’ve got a decent grasp of both concepts.

3 Quit interrupting my kid at her dance lesson, scout meeting, choir practice, baseball game, art class, field trip, park day, music class, 4H club, or soccer lesson to ask her if as a homeschooler she ever gets to socialize.

4 Don’t assume that every homeschooler you meet is homeschooling for the same reasons and in the same way as that one homeschooler you know.

5 If that homeschooler you know is actually someone you saw on TV, either on the news or on a “reality” show, the above goes double.

6 Please stop telling us horror stories about the homeschoolers you know, know of, or think you might know who ruined their lives by homeschooling. You’re probably the same little bluebird of happiness whose hobby is running up to pregnant women and inducing premature labor by telling them every ghastly birth story you’ve ever heard. We all hate you, so please go away.

7 We don’t look horrified and start quizzing your kids when we hear they’re in public school. Please stop drilling our children like potential oil fields to see if we’re doing what you consider an adequate job of homeschooling.

8 Stop assuming all homeschoolers are religious.

9 Stop assuming that if we’re religious, we must be homeschooling for religious reasons.

10 We didn’t go through all the reading, learning, thinking, weighing of options, experimenting, and worrying that goes into homeschooling just to annoy you. Really. This was a deeply personal decision, tailored to the specifics of our family. Stop taking the bare fact of our being homeschoolers as either an affront or a judgment about your own educational decisions.

11 Please stop questioning my competency and demanding to see my credentials. I didn’t have to complete a course in catering to successfully cook dinner for my family; I don’t need a degree in teaching to educate my children. If spending at least twelve years in the kind of chew-it-up-and-spit-it-out educational facility we call public school left me with so little information in my memory banks that I can’t teach the basics of an elementary education to my nearest and dearest, maybe there’s a reason I’m so reluctant to send my child to school.

12 If my kid’s only six and you ask me with a straight face how I can possibly teach him what he’d learn in school, please understand that you’re calling me an idiot. Don’t act shocked if I decide to respond in kind.

13 Stop assuming that because the word “home” is right there in “homeschool,” we never leave the house. We’re the ones who go to the amusement parks, museums, and zoos in the middle of the week and in the off-season and laugh at you because you have to go on weekends and holidays when it’s crowded and icky.

14 Stop assuming that because the word “school” is right there in homeschool, we must sit around at a desk for six or eight hours every day, just like your kid does. Even if we’re into the “school” side of education — and many of us prefer a more organic approach — we can burn through a lot of material a lot more efficiently, because we don’t have to gear our lessons to the lowest common denominator.

15 Stop asking, “But what about the Prom?” Even if the idea that my kid might not be able to indulge in a night of over-hyped, over-priced revelry was enough to break my heart, plenty of kids who do go to school don’t get to go to the Prom. For all you know, I’m one of them. I might still be bitter about it. So go be shallow somewhere else.

16 Don’t ask my kid if she wouldn’t rather go to school unless you don’t mind if I ask your kid if he wouldn’t rather stay home and get some sleep now and then.

17 Stop saying, “Oh, I could never homeschool!” Even if you think it’s some kind of compliment, it sounds more like you’re horrified. One of these days, I won’t bother disagreeing with you any more.

18 If you can remember anything from chemistry or calculus class, you’re allowed to ask how we’ll teach these subjects to our kids. If you can’t, thank you for the reassurance that we couldn’t possibly do a worse job than your teachers did, and might even do a better one.

19 Stop asking about how hard it must be to be my child’s teacher as well as her parent. I don’t see much difference between bossing my kid around academically and bossing him around the way I do about everything else.

20 Stop saying that my kid is shy, outgoing, aggressive, anxious, quiet, boisterous, argumentative, pouty, fidgety, chatty, whiny, or loud because he’s homeschooled. It’s not fair that all the kids who go to school can be as annoying as they want to without being branded as representative of anything but childhood.

21 Quit assuming that my kid must be some kind of prodigy because she’s homeschooled.

22 Quit assuming that I must be some kind of prodigy because I homeschool my kids.

23 Quit assuming that I must be some kind of saint because I homeschool my kids.

24 Stop talking about all the great childhood memories my kids won’t get because they don’t go to school, unless you want me to start asking about all the not-so-great childhood memories you have because you went to school.

25 Here’s a thought: If you can’t say something nice about homeschooling, shut up!

 

Great work Deborah, I could not have said it better myself!

 

Keith Fitzhugh: Finally an Athlete That Deserves To Be Called “A Man”

Posted on by Cool Pappa

Over the last few years, a disturbing trend has been taking place in the American sports lexicon. Larry Johnson is “a man”, Adrian Peterson is “a man”, Albert Pujos is “a man”, and the list continues with each athlete that is hot at time the statement is made. First, no person should just be labelled “a man” because they can carry a football, hit somebody so hard their shoulders clap, or hit a baseball whenever and however they like. All of us should resist having our manhood based on what we do for a living and/or our physical abilities. Second, the trials and tribulations of someone like Larry Johnson prove that “a man” can act more like, “a boy” when it comes to off-field behavior and decision-making. Looks like many fantasy football fans spoke too soon on LJ.

LJ's four arrests and various assault charges against women proves that just because you're a TD machine, doesn't mean your acting like a man.

However, I caught the story of Keith Fitzhugh on ESPN recently, and I felt that this guy is truly “a man”. Keith Fitzhugh had an opportunity to play for the New York Jets this season, but instead chose to stay home, work a “regular job”, and take care of his parents.  The NFL’s minimum salary is $320,000. I assume Fitzhugh would not collect all of that since he would have joined the team so late in the season. Yet, the Jets are almost a sure lock for making the playoffs and each playoff appearance and win would mean more money on top of his salary. It is one thing to turn down a job that would pay you $5,000 more if it did not offer you the security and flexibility you desired. But I never would have imagined someone doing it for probably more than 10 times their current salary and the fame of being a professional athlete. Also, rags-to-riches stories like Kurt Warner’s, are still fresh in our mind. The former grocery store bagger would later win MVP awards, a Super Bowl ring, and make four Pro Bowl appearances.

As a former grocery store worker myself, Kurt's story even inspires me!

May I also add, what does this say about his parents, specifically his disabled father? Can they be more proud of the son they raised and wisdom that goes beyond what most know at 24 years-of-age? Remember, being a CornerstoneDad is about being the anchor of your family. Regardless of age, your life is still a part of who they are, so when you are down, they are down and there to help you. That’s being relevant, that’s being a linchpin in your family, that’s being a patriarch, that’s being a CornerstoneDad. I wonder if Fitzhugh’s dad put work and money above his family? I do not know the answer, but the fact that Fitzhugh chose his father and mother over money and fame leaves a few clues.

 

 

 

 

Source:

Tony Dungee’s All-Pro Dad site: http://www.allprodad.com/

For video of an interview with Keith Fitzhugh, please see: http://allprodad.com/page.php?id=312

FAMILY OVER FOOTBALL

By: Mickey McClean – Worldmag.com

Often when we read about the off-field exploits of professional athletes the focus is on scandalous behavior: drugs, alcohol, violence, infidelity. It was refreshing to read this week about former pro football player Keith Fitzhugh, who gained notoriety for doing something unexpected but commanded of us: honoring his father and mother.

With several players going down with injuries, the New York Jets desperately needed help in their defensive backfield as they looked to make a run at the Super Bowl. They knew Fitzhugh, who had been in their training camp the past two years only to be cut from the squad, so they rang him up with an offer to rejoin the team immediately. Granted, the Jets weren’t throwing tons of money at him or guaranteeing him a permanent spot on their roster; still, what 24-year-old who has dreamed of playing in the NFL wouldn’t jump at a chance to pull on the pads again and possibly play his way into a long-term deal?

But the former Mississippi State standout said no.

“I know the Jets have a great opportunity of making the Super Bowl, and that’s one dream that every child has is to play sports and make it to the Super Bowl or get to the World Series,” Fitzhugh told The Associated Press. “But, there’s a time when you have to think, ‘Hey, you’ve only got one mom and dad.’ They won’t be here forever, and while they’re here, you’ve got to cherish that time.”

After the Jets cut him prior to this season, Fitzhugh decided to head back home, land a steady job, and help take care of his mother and his father, who is unable to work because of a disability. He’s been a conductor for Norfolk Southern Railroad for the past three months.

“I’ve got something now where I know every two weeks I’m getting a paycheck,” said Fitzhugh, who had a brief stint with the Baltimore Ravens last December before re-signing with the Jets in the offseason. “I don’t want to let [Norfolk Southern] down or run from them because I got a shot for a couple of weeks. I just feel that that’s not right at the moment. I’m looking more long-term in life right now than the short-term.”

In talking to the press this week, Jets coach Rex Ryan reacted to Fitzhugh’s surprising decision: “That’s one of the reasons why we wanted that kid. He’s a tough guy. He’s a guy with a lot of character. He’s just a really outstanding young man. The decision that he made was a tough one for him, but I admire his decision.”

As we debate whether our children should look to athletes as role models, maybe we need to consider not only the superstars but those like Fitzhugh who make the tough call to put the quest for fame and fortune aside for something that’s much more lasting.

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12).

Mike Singletary: Leader on the Field and At Home, but How About You?

Posted on by Cool Pappa

Tonight is Monday Night football night. The San Francisco 49er’s face off against the Arizona Cardinals, with both teams not living up to the pre-season expectations. The 49er’s coach, Mike Singletary, is even on the “hot-seat” accord to many in the media.

This would certainly scare me if I had the ball!

Most remember fiery Singletary for his intense gaze as he patrolled and led the Chicago Bear defense from 1981-1992. In fact, one of my favorite all-time teams was the 1985 Bears that won the Super Bowl that year against the New England Patriots. Singletary lead a defense that some consider one of the best in history.

Yet, Singletary’s biggest contribution to this world was probably not on the football field, either as a player 20 years ago or as a head coach today.  Mike Singletary is the cornerstone of his family as he and his wife have seven children. The Coach has written three books: Singletary One on One, Calling the Shots, and Daddy’s Home at Last. When Singletary first arrived in San Francisco, he snatched highly-talented tight-end Vernon Davis off the field for not being a team player (check out his classic press conference speech below). If there was ever a “daddy moment” during the game for all to see, that was definitely one. Any father that ever had to discipline his child on the field for their antics or any child that has been the recipient of such rebuke could certainly relate. But Singletary’s decision that day earned him the respect of 49er leadership, the rest of the team, and most importantly, Vernon Davis himself. Singletary is a man that knows how to lead men.

Perhaps you are a dad that stepped into a situation that requires you to lead a team that, well… let us just say, “your guys” aren’t on the team. Meaning, you may be a step-dad of children who seem to be set in their ways and you continually think, “If I would have raised you, you would not be acting this way”. You may be a dad who has been in the military and away from your children for large periods of time, and they seem to ignore your discipline when you are home. You may be a dad who has been there, but you have sat back and let your wife handle the discipline because you want to be the “fun-dad”. Whatever situation you find yourself in, you need to be that cornerstone for leadership and discipline inside your home.

Like Singletary, we must be willing to not just lead in the boardroom, factory, or on the field. But in the living room (and not just the bedroom as that tends to be the only room in the house many men want to lead in), our kids classroom, and the chapel. Our kids are waiting and I wish I could say our wives are waiting, but many are not any longer, they are leading and laying down the discipline without us. What a shame. If you do not lead your young men, who will? Is the street capable to lead them? How about our daughters? Will we allow another man to lead them?

Coach Singletary may be on the hot-seat for the 49er’s losing record this season, I would be willing to bet the team’s record does not reflect the impact he has had on the men’s lives that he has coached in less than three short seasons. That is what being a CornerstoneDad is all about, being essential in the building and character of your home. To be anything less is not being a cornerstone, but pet. Maybe that’s why so many men are said to be dogs.

“Thank You Lord for All Our Blessings, but It Is Not Enough. Amen.”

Posted on by Cool Pappa

I have a sure-fire love-line you can say to your lady. You know, one of those “sweet-nothing” phrases. “Baby, I am so thankful that I have you, for all you have done for me and what a blessing you are to me. So thankful, that tomorrow I think we should go out and start looking for another wife. Let us get up early, and see what we can find. Love you sweetie.”

Now, unless your wife is featured on Sister Wives, I have a feeling those lines aren’t going to go over very well. Yet, this is basically the attitude of many American’s this time of year. Thanksgiving comes and we are inundated with stories about being thankful for all of the things that we have and the very next story appeals to the consumption side of our personalities by telling us it is “Black Friday” (wait, isn’t it also Black Friday if a bunch of people at work get fired?) and stores open early for us to begin Christmas shopping. Am I the only one noticing this inconsistency? “Be thankful for all you have, but go spend to get more because it is not enough!” To make matters worse, the third story is probably about the threat of a “W” recession and the unemployment numbers (which is at 9% as of October 2010 according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics .

Financial talk show host Dave Ramsey (www.daveramsey.com) commonly says that getting out of debt changes your family tree. I think those are very true words. First, the Bible says in Proverbs 22:7 that, “The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is the slave of the lender.” Therefore Dad, how can you properly be the cornerstone of your family if you are a slave to a credit card company and/or bank?

Those companies will run your house really well as they will dictate when everyone wakes up with their unsolicited 8 A.M. wake-up calls to becoming an uninvited guest at dinner or with 8:30 P.M. “night-night” bedtime calls. Yes indeed, your kids will view mom and dad in a whole new light as they watch them panic like a roach in light, when that phone rings and you look at the caller-ID and tell them not to answer the phone numerous times each day. Yes, Sweet Daddy move over, there’s a new loan shark in the Evan’s family!

 

The Evans family could always count on old Sweets to give them money when they needed it, for a price they never could afford to repay!

If you are slave to the lender, please show some wisdom this Christmas season. The very people you may be trying to impress would not be too impressed if they knew the amount of debt your household carries. Imagine those people being over at your home when the phone rings and asking, “Your phone is ringing, you aren’t going to answer it?” Then again, would it really matter? Debt and consumption are the fuels to the American economy right? Creditcards.com reports that the average household has nearly four credit cards as of 2008. The average credit card debt for those households is nearly $16,000! Time for a change, and it begins at home by not being a slave to your personal Sweet Daddy Williams.

This is our first Christmas with no credit card and that is what I’m truly thankful for. No payments to linger into 2011 from 2010. This is surely the greatest gift that I will give my children this holiday season.

Next time, we’ll take another look at the benefits of changing your family tree by becoming debt free. You can influence your children’s attitude in a whole new way concerning money. Left on their own, society has no problem teaching them if you will not. The real message this time of year is actually, “Be thankful for what you have been able to accumulate, but keep striving to attain more because you do not want to be without the latest _____.”

Dad, Get the Gift That Keeps On Giving

Posted on by Cool Pappa

baby-quotes-graphics-8

As I pointed out in my previous post, I have always enjoyed taking photos. However, like any other hobby, what is my “thang” may not be someone else’s “thang”. But Dads, if you have children, you need to get a camera and use it.

Now,  I’m writing this to you to give you plenty of notice as Thanksgiving is around the corner and if money is going to be too tight before then, you can get ready to shop online or hit the stores for the “Black Friday” sales. Actually, our family’s first digital camera was this inexpensive HP E317 model like the one below that my photo friend teased me heavily about. Yet, this little camera delivered a couple of my best shots ever. Now, that does go to show that sometimes it is not about the price of the equipment, but whether you read the instruction booklet and learn how to use it. So buy what your wallet can afford and don’t get sucked into the novice megapixel game.

Your homework if you will, is to take photos of your family this holiday season. Try not to have everyone pose for every picture, but just get shots of the family interacting. Now, most of you likely have done this, but when was the last time you went back and looked at the photos? At least every year, I suggest you go back and look at the photos from the previous holiday a year prior. I think you are going to be amazed at how much your family has changed in what seemed to be a short amount of time.

Men spend so much time every day at work or looking for work, most are not fortunate enough to be stay-at-home dads that get to catch so many moments like mom often catches. Perhaps your kids are older, well my friend, pretty soon they will not even be spending holidays with you, but with friends or “friends” (if you know what I mean). So capture those memories while you can.

Personally, I have more children that most of the people I know. Conversely, I know of no one who has a house as small as mine. Meaning, I have no man-cave, basement, hot rod, or anything else to “escape” when the kids start working my nerves. But recently I started looking at some photos I had just taken earlier this year. My girls have changed the most out of everybody in last few months and it dawned on me how time is flying by. Pretty soon, Lord’s Will and the creek-don’t-rise, they will have their own families or perhaps living far away and we will not be able to be together. Then I will be wanting to run to them, instead of running away from them.

If you need any tips on making a camera purchase, there are some great inexpensive models out there and I am glad to help. As much as I hate to say it, use the camera-phone if you have to, as long as you download the pictures and not just leave them there to send to relatives. Enjoy dads and appreciate the fact that you no longer have to take film in to develop (unless you want) and you can delete the bad pictures, which are common when shooting indoors.

Enjoy, stay strong, and show them some love.

Cool Pappa

Shooting With Dad

Posted on by Cool Pappa

 

When I was younger, I remember my dad, aka Lillpappa, having a really nice camera and always taking pictures.  When I got older, I started with my little pocket camera and now I have finally moved up to a digital SLR. Needless-to-say, sometimes it is not even about the destination with me, but whether I can shoot some nice photos once I get there. My kids are now catching the photo-bug as well.

Children can catch things with the lens that we as adults often miss. First, our perspective of the world is of course taller. Many pictures we even take of them are shot from up above. However, there seems to be much more “pop” to photos that they may take of each other, face-to-face, that we do not catch from above. With the price of digital camera being extremely cheap or perhaps you have that old one sitting around that you never use, why not let your kids use or at least borrow it? Next, plan an afternoon where you take them out and view the world through the lens. Whether you barely know anything about shooting photos and you only use it when your wife tells you she wants shots of the kid’s birthday gigs, or whether you are a professional, I guarantee you that your kids will appreciate just the opportunity to be with you. The learning, the interaction and nice photos bring added value to the trip.

Lillpappa loved to take photos of bridges and still does to this day. The Golden Gate bridge has been our family favorite, but a bridge just about anywhere is worthy of a shot. Look for plenty of other bridge photos in the future shot by me, Cool Pappa, and my tribe.

Until next time dads, stay strong and show the family some love.

Cool Pappa

Dad, Are You Brave Enough to Test Your Success?

Posted on by Cool Pappa


fred_flintstone_expression

Last time I asked you how you defined success as a dad. If you judge your success by what your children think, All-Pro Dad has a test that is perfect for you. Perhaps you do not have the courage or relationship to ask your children how they think you are doing or have done as a father. This little test can be a conversation-starter. Have your child/children take the test preferably with you not around. Then look at their answers and the recommendations by All-Pro Dad. Did your child’s answer reflect what you were thinking? Did you score better than you thought or not as good as you expected? Whatever the outcome, determine today to get better and to DO better. Both of you are alive therefore it is not too late for a brand new start.

The test can be found at: http://www.allprodad.com/resources/kidsquiz.php