I just know he’s the guy that dropped the classic line, “I love me some me!” and had the great pom-pom end zone celebration that seemed much less rehearsed than the weak Sharpie-in-the-sock celebration pulled in Seattle in 2002.
Yes, it’s been that long. Hard to believe, but the San Francisco 49ers finally eclipsed the success they had when TO was there this season, as he departed the team in 2003. Back in 1999, there was Terrell Owens, a receiver that looked like he could re-write the record books and quite honestly, he eased the pain of Jerry Rice leaving for 49er fans as his talent seemed limitless. He was in perfect shape, 6’3 220+lbs, with deep-speed where DB’s could hang with him from 0-40 yards but post-40, “bye-bye”.
But then TO was born.
Obviously TO had a lot of fun. The article states that the he earned over $80,000,000 (1). That number is not a typo. However, now Terrell Owens finds himself “broke” (dude’s apartment is still the size of my house plus he’s in L.A., and I have 6 people with me) after suffering a knee injury without a contract, at 38-years old, with big child-support payments. Turns out that TO made a ton of bad business investments and even blames agent Drew Rosenhaus for not protecting him. Over the years, TO has always blamed a lot of people for a lot of things. I just watch the ESPN-tabloid so I don’t know what’s true.
But who’s to blame for this four kids by different mothers? The article states,
Now he is in court with all four women, whom he lumps together like one big bloodsucking blob. None of them are being fair, he says: “They know I’m not working; they know the deal.” Although he never established regular visitation with any of the children through the courts, he says he sees the eldest three as much as he can when their mothers allow it. So bitter is his relationship with the mother of the youngest child, a son, that he has never met the boy. (1)
Now, before I continue on, you may ask, “Who am I to judge?” Well, I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to seek a child support reduction, have a tenuous relationship with my son’s mother and fight for visitation. I didn’t make $80 million dollars, I was making a few hundred dollars every two weeks, worried about the lights getting shut-off, and had to take out a zillion dollars in student loans just to go back to school and re-invent myself because I didn’t want my son working side-by-side with me when he turned 16 years old. So yes, I’ve been there TO.
But TO, you need to start fighting to see your kids, and not just “when their mothers allow it” and you need to find a way to be a dad to the youngest you are yet to meet.
Any other single-dad that’s reading this, let me tell you that you fight. You continue to fight. You never stop fighting. Amazing that a fool is willing to fight and kill over stepping on his Jordans, but will hide like a mouse from our own children. This is not because we don’t care, but because we’re scared.
Scared of confrontation.
Scared of our own emotions and how they make us vulnerable.
Scared of losing because we are not in control of the situation.
But you call yourself “Hard”?
How well do you fight your inner-TO?
I often hear Terrell Owens speak of his grandmother and the impact she had on his life. However, I’ve never heard him really talking about his father. Perhaps it was because he didn’t meet his dad until he was 11 years old (2). In a 2004 Sports Illustrated article, we discover,
“At age 11 Terrell developed a crush on a girl across the street and began sneaking over to flirt with her–until her father told him that he could not “be interested in her” because she was his half-sister. “It took me a while to understand that I was talking to my father,” Owens writes. When he asked his mother why she’d never told him that his father lived across the street, she said that “it wasn’t necessary to explain everything to me.”
TO asks for no sympathy because nothing in his experience has given him reason to expect any. But he is entitled to it just the same, and his critics who read this book might want to lay off him for a while. It’s not hard to understand why a man deprived of his father, deprived of his childhood, deprived of the words I love you, would develop a tendency to call attention to himself when he succeeds.”
That was Terrell Owens talking right there. A man making himself vulnerable. But TO takes over when that same man, who knows what it’s like to grow up with a father so close yet so far, turns around and continues the same cycle with his children.
If a good man is hard to find, then the impact of a bad father is even harder to get rid of.
Just as Terrell’s dad was right across the street, TO’s image will be just as close for his children as daddy is just one ESPN click, internet page, and reality show away from them.
For what it’s worth, and not because I’m a 49er fan, I think I’d like Terrell Owens if I met him in person and we hung out. He seems like a guy that I’d get along with and I’d certainly love to hit the steel with him. But it’s TO that I couldn’t roll with, and if the article is true, I don’t think Terrell even wants to roll with TO any longer. Therefore, I hope Terrell steps back up and becomes the man and the father he’s supposed to be to his kids.
Perhaps you’re a single dad or soon-to-be divorced dad and you’re having a hard time dealing with visitation. Don’t stop fighting to see them and having a relationship with your child(ren). It’s not about you and the mom any longer, so don’t let that relationship hinder you.
It’s not always easy, it’s not always fun, but when you look back and know that you fought for something worth for more than $80 million, then you have reason to celebrate like this:
Remember, you only have one shot at this, so do it right.
CSD
(1) Jeff Arnold, Terrell Owens In GQ: I’m In Hell, http://www.thepostgame.com/features/201201/terrell-owens-gq-jeremiah-trotter-told-me-not-apologize-donovan-mcnabb, January 2012
(2) Charles Hirshberg, Sympathy For The Showboat, http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/article/magazine/MAG1113703/index.htm, 2004
In this latest episode, my wife and I have a chat about the sexual abuse stories coming out of Penn State and Syracuse Universities. The question is asked, “Where are the parents?”
Please join us as we have a frank discussion about keeping the kids away from predators and whether parents are leaving doorways open to allow predators easy access to their children. We also tackle the question, do parents even want their children around at home? “Go outside, go with your friends, go somewhere”, many of us say. But if we say “yes”, do our actions speak louder than words?
Please feel free to leave us comments or questions below or at Cornerstonedad@gmail.com. We would certainly like to hear your views on the subject matter.
What’s the workbook for teacher workshops these days, the Willie Lynch letter?
Some have rightly argued how could many African-American’s vote for Barack Obama just because he is of their same people group.
How about because many people are tired of the only thing African-Americans are known for is being a slave!
Maybe 30 years from now the assignment will be, “How did it feel to run for president and have people doubt whether you were even born in America?” Or, “Imagine being President and having other political colleagues disrespect you and the position in ways they have never done to any other before, treating you worse than one who was extremely promiscuous and of your same party?”
Well, at least in the report below, I see my high school’s slave auction doesn’t seem quite as bad now.
For those who may feel this isn’t that bad, perhaps you’re right. Maybe we as a society shouldn’t be so sensitive. Maybe next September 11, we can have some students pretend they are jumping out windows or pretend they are held by terrorists and about to get their head’s chopped off.
Yea, that’ll be cool.
Of course, we could always have our Jewish brothers and sisters pretend to starve, be infected with diseases, or how hot it would feel to be in an oven. I’m sure some kids in the class will be German so they can chip in as oppressors (or say they were just following orders).
Oh, that would be a real teaching moment for the kids.
And before you read the article below, please remember there’s no such thing as “biracial”. There aren’t two races of human beings. That’s a topic for another day.
CornerstoneDad’s, read over those school assignments!
Michigan mom slams son’s assignment on slavery
MELVINDALE, Mich. – Jessica Gibson says she won’t let her 11-year-old son complete a school assignment that she says took a lesson about slavery too far.
“Pretend that you are a slave in the southern United States,” says the assignment. “Write a journal/diary memoir about your life.”
Gibson, 27, of Melvindale, Mich., said her sixth-grade son, Taylan, received the social studies assignment from a Strong Middle School teacher last month. But her son hid it from her, later telling her he didn’t want to do it. Gibson found out about it last week.
“He’s never had a master nor will he ever have a master, so why should he have to pretend to have a master?” Gibson said. “That really disturbed me.”
The written portion of the assignment asked students to answer five questions, which included describing what the slave area and the plantation area are like and what the owner and his family are like. It also asked students what kind of activities go on at their plantation, whether they have any friends or family at the plantation and whether anything extraordinary has happened in their lives as a slave.
A video portion of the assignment asked students to talk about the life they described in the journal, according to the assignment Gibson shared with the Free Press on Monday.
The teacher, Michelle Angileri, told the Free Press she wasn’t allowed to make any statement and directed a reporter to talk to the principal. The Free Press was unable to reach the principal or district superintendent Monday.
Taylan had been learning about slavery when he got the assignment. He said it embarrassed him.
“I’m black, and it was a slave assignment,” he said.
His mother, who is biracial, said she doesn’t think anyone should be required to complete the assignment, regardless of race.
“For him to pretend to be something he’s never been or never will be, that’s going too far,” she said.
Teaching slavery is a sensitive topic that has sparked controversy before. This month in Atlanta, teachers used slavery themes to teach math concepts, including questions such as: “If Frederick got two beatings per day, how many beatings did he get in one week?”
Last year, teachers in Virginia and Ohio held mock slave auctions in which they had white students auction off black students as part of lessons on the Civil War.
Gibson said she tried talking to school officials about her concerns, but didn’t receive a satisfactory solution and doesn’t want her son to get a zero for not completing the assignment.
“Find a different assignment for them to do,” she said.
For at least five years, me and my boys (meaning: my friends and my sons) have had an opportunity to go down to a local mission once a month in our area to preach the gospel. We have rotated preaching amongst the group and while not all of us attend every month, somebody has been there to deliver the Good News to homeless men.
No matter what problems I have going on in my life on those days, I’m always humbled with the perspective that God has blessed me and my family with so much for His glory and His glory alone, for I do not deserve one good thing.
Matter of fact, I deserve Hell for all of the things that I have done. Sin against an eternal, holy and divine God deserves an eternal punishment. PERFECTION – GOOD = FAIL. (For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; Romans 3:23)
I have also been blessed to have a group of guys to serve with at the mission. They have started a radio program on http://www.1440wdrj.com/ that I have had the pleasure of jumping in on and past episodes can be found here: http://missionmen.posterous.com/
Please check back often as we explore basic Christian beliefs for 15 minutes each week and present the gospel.
As a matter of fact, if you are having trouble having devotion time with your kids and don’t know where to start, why not listen to the program and discuss our topic of the week with your family?
Being a CornerstoneDad is about being a reflection of the chief Cornerstone, Jesus Christ, in our homes. (Ephesians 2:19-22) It’s not always easy, but it is required.
Last month I purchased The John Carlos Story (http://www.johncarlos.org/JohnCarlos/JohnCarlos-TheBook.html) for my two oldest boys. While I cannot wait for one of them to finish the book so I can start working my way through it, I have been listening to a number of interviews by Dr. John Carlos and David Zirin as they promote and tell the story behind the story.
But CNN (not Fox News) seemed to have another agenda in mind when they wanted to interview Dr. Carlos. Funny how this “mishap” as you will see, is an excellent example of the story of John Carlos and Tommie Smith. As long as they do what the nation and media wants them to do and say, great. Let us paint the portrait and you be the brush.
However, if you know anything about Dr. John Carlos, Tommie Smith, Peter Norman and Dr. Harry Edwards, you know these guys paint their own portrait, tell their own story, and the truth about America as well.
Dad’s, if you’re unfamiliar with the story of John Carlos and Tommie Smith and their protest during the 1968 Olympics held in Mexico City, please check it out and learn more. This was truly a pivotal and misunderstood moment in world history. This is also a tremendous teaching moment for your kids: Will they be willing to take a stand for what is right, if it may cost them their life?
What did Carlos and Smith have to gain by keeping silent and not protesting for human rights? Certainly fame, money, power and privilege and all we have to do is look at the lives of Jesse Owens, Carl Lewis and Usain Bolt to see the riches that can be gained just from being the fastest sprinter in the world. But what did they gain from their silent protest? Persecution, slander (by their own nation especially), broken marriages (the wife of John Carlos later took her own life), and unemployment.
How would sports be different today if more athletes would be willing to put all of that on the line to help others?
How would society be different today if more parents were willing to give up many of the same advantages to raise our children and do what is right as well?
But you know, I can honestly say I’ve never had to take a test like this.
Beaver Ridge Elementary parents held a protest outside their Norcross school Tuesday after a lesson on Frederick Douglass prompted third-grade teachers to use slave beatings to teach math concepts.
Channel 2 Action NewsSchool officials said that the questions stemmed from an effort to incorporate history into math lessons.
The protest was held as some parents of third-graders who saw the homework assignment met with the school’s principal.
About 60 parents, community activists and church leaders assembled outside the school. A few carried signs that read: “Shame on them” and “The teachers need to be fired.” Some drivers passing by the demonstration honked to show support.
Parent Christopher Braxton, who complained to the district about the slave math questions, said his son’s class was being led by a substitute teacher for the second day in a row as the investigation into the incident continues.
Braxton said Beaver Ridge Principal Jose DeJesus would not elaborate on the status of the probe or his son’s teacher.
“They apologized for the situation and said they could not speak about it further until they finish the investigation,” Braxton said.
Four of the school’s third-grade classrooms received the assignment, which made references to slaves picking oranges and filling baskets with cotton. It also included the question: “If Frederick got two beatings per day, how many beatings did he get in one week?”
This is the second time in two years race and ethnicity on a homework assignment sparked complaints at Gwinnett Schools. There was a similar incident in Cobb Schools last fall.
Last school year, third-graders at Gwinnett’s Chesney Elementary were given a reading homework packet that included a story titled “What Is an Illegal Alien?” The assignment, which was copied from the Internet by a new teacher, was not reviewed by the school’s subject area department chair before it was distributed. The math sheet created at Beaver Ridge also failed to undergo a content review, officials said. Under district policy, the worksheet should have been reviewed before being handed out to students, but that process was not followed.
In September, Cobb Schools came under fire for a similar incident, an assignment by a teacher at Campbell Middle School. Students were asked to write on the issue of dress codes and read a fictional two-page letter written by a 20-year-old Saudi Arabian woman. The character wrote approvingly of wearing the Islamic veil — and of her fiance’s multiple wives and the law of Sharia.
Gwinnett Schools human resources officials are investigating the Beaver Ridge incident to decide whether punitive action is necessary. District officials said they would work with math teachers to come up with more appropriate questions.
“These particular questions were an attempt at incorporating some of what students had been discussing in social studies with their math activity,” said Sloan Roach, Gwinnett Schools spokeswoman. “One teacher developed the questions, another made the copies and it was used in four classes.”
Ed DuBose, Georgia NAACP president, had a strong view: “The teachers, the staff responsible for allowing this to go forward should be fired.”
DuBose called off a press conference Tuesday and met with Gwinnett superintendent J. Alvin Wilbanks.
One of the teachers involved in the incident is Hispanic, Braxton said. The district would not release the teachers’ names or races. All involved are being questioned about their role and are still employed with the district, Roach said.
School officials said the questions were not intended to be offensive and that copies of the assignment were being pulled so they wouldn’t be circulated.
Copy and paste the link to check out the video of the story:
Media days are finally over and the theme definitely was green, sporty and small. In other words, if you’re looking for that next minivan for the family or pick’m-up-truck, this show was not for you. This one was all about the kids. Likely your kids, as manufacturers try to get them back into their brands and build some brand loyalty. So fuel efficiency, coupes and connectivity for all those devices was the flavor of the show.
So for you CornerstoneDad’s out there with teenagers that are car shopping, this show is for you.
Can you find which car may be the next-gen Camaro?
Can you find which car may be the next-gen Corvette?
What do you think about the Blake Griffin Kia?
What do you think of the new Fusion?
Gotta at least give it up to Dodge for keeping us Muscle Car era fans happy.
Today is a day that I remember how blessed I am in two special ways.
Both of my parents are still alive
Both of my parents are still married
As I get older, I appreciate both of those points more and more.
CornerstoneDad.com is about promoting fatherhood. But because it is my mother’s birthday, I have to touch on motherhood today. Too often, mother’s are honored while fathers are taken for granted, scolded, and ignored. Even the Intruders cracked on dad in the song below for no reason! But not around here though dads, here you are safe. But please allow me to give my mom her props right now.
Perhaps the smartest decision my dad ever made was choosing the right mother for his children. Everybody talks about being that “Proverbs 31 woman”, but my mother has truly been that woman in our household.
Proverbs 31:10 An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.
Yea, my dad picked a winner.
I remember my mom getting me toys from her job as a gift-wrapper at Hudson’s. I found a photo once, where she was one of the only black women in her corporate job back in the ’60’s.
My mom left the career behind to stay home and raise some kids. My dad didn’t make a ton of money, but they decided that her being home raising us was the best way to keep the streets from raising us instead.
Therefore, she was there when I took the bat outside to knock out Ricky Collins in elementary school. Yea, bullying isn’t a new phenomenon young readers. Instead of bombs, some of us had to handle it different ways. Mom kept me from getting in more trouble that day.
Mom would hold down my dad’s arm, to calm him down, as there were times he wanted to go knock out the truck drivers that called us niggas or other names on the CB on family vacations. “Okay, meet me at the rest area and say it in my face!” screamed dad. Mom would calmly but firmly say something like, “Please, let it go, lets just keep going…”. Mom kept daddy from getting into more trouble plenty of times too.
I guess that’s why I love Good Times so much as her and Florida sounded so much alike.
Mom told me about Jesus Christ at eight years old, and my life (and my family’s life) has never been the same since then.
Mom told me about Jesus Christ at eight years old, and my life (and my family’s life) has never been the same since then.
Mom taught me that taking two papers out the paper box was stealing, even if it was just sitting in there and my friend wanted to get one for the box scores also.
Mom almost died when I was around 13, and I’ll never forget the pain she was in as her “insides” fought like Ali vs. Frazier. The crying I heard still upsets me now.
Mom was at home when I called as my high school friends were getting blown out at parties and I didn’t want to join in because I knew the effects of alcohol, plus I was driving. She was my alibi for not joining in the “fun”.
Proverbs 31:27 – She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Mom wrote me a letter when she saw that after high school, the gravitational pull of the streets was too much for me, so she tried to pull me back.
It didn’t completely work.
So I’m sure mom wasn’t surprised when I told her I got a girl pregnant.
It was mom that was there when I saw my son for the first time, and no matter what kind of relationship I had with my son’s mother, it was my duty to be the best father I could be to him.
My mom never understood why white parents didn’t except her son, while she never mistreated or rejected any girl her boys brought home regardless of their skin color. Plus, knew that they treated women with respect because we always respected her.
Therefore, my Mom was at my wedding, when I was marrying a “white girl”…and to this day she loves her not because she has too, but because of the relationship she developed with my wife.
Proverbs 31:26 – She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
My Mom is a superb grandmother. The photo above is her telling them things that I never even heard about growing up, like her struggles in the segregated South. Tales about the old buses she had to ride in for school while the “white” schools got the nice new buses. Yea…so much for “Separate but Equal”. (see: http://www.pbs.org/wnet/jimcrow/stories_events_plessy.html)
Proverbs 31:28 – Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.
If you’ve read this far. Thank you.
I hope it made you think about all your mother has done and if she’s still alive, please let her know.
I write not to be sappy, but because I do not believe in giving dead people the flowers and praise at their funeral instead of while they are here on earth to smell the flowers and hear the praise.
Young men, be wise, and choose the right woman to be the mother of your children. Every woman you lay with has the potential to be the mother of your child and I’d bet that many of them, you would not want raising your children (shout-out to Evander Holyfield, Shawn Kemp, and Travis Henry – all athletes that forget that sex and reproduction are still linked despite our 21st century technologies).
Mom, you are blessed.
You have blessed me and my family.
I thank God that you can still be here to read this.
Without you, there would be no CornerstoneDad.
Without you, I don’t even no where I’d be today.
Thank you, and may God allow us to see many more birthdays together as there’s so much more work to be done.
Washington Watch with Roland Martin taped a couple of shows dealing with fatherhood. The meetings were hosted by T.D. Jakes and while I may disagree with T.D. Jakes theologically, he makes many good points on fatherhood and parenting in general.
Some of the topics/questions covered are:
Are men to “sissified” in society?
Will a decrease in dad’s presence mean an increase in promiscuity for girls?
Can a woman teach a boy how to be a man?
If you don’t have any children, can you be a father-figure to someone who does not have a father in their life?
Give the show a watch and let us know what your thoughts are on the subject. If you have a story that you want to share, please share or email me at cornerstonedad@gmail.com as I’d love to hear from you.
Furious Fathering 