Fatherhood

Seven Year Old Steals Car to See His Biological Dad? Can You Be Father of the Year with a Kid Like That?

Posted on by Cool Pappa

Sometimes life is truly stranger than fiction...because this kid certain sound like a kid from the Boondocks

By now you’ve probably heard this story:

Barefoot and still in pajamas, the 7-year-old boy stood on the side of a Caseville road on Monday morning, crying and begging to see his dad.

Police say that as his mother slept, the boy drove his stepfather’s red Pontiac Sunfire more than 20 miles from Sheridan Township by himself to try to get there, hitting speeds of 50 m.p.h. with police in pursuit.

“I was hoping he wasn’t going to crash,” Caseville Police Chief Jamie Learman said. “A couple of times he went off the right side, onto the berm in the gravel, and the vehicle was fishtailing a little bit. When that happened, he seemed to be increasing his speeds.”

Learman sped up and passed the boy, as Huron County Sheriff’s Office Deputy Randy Britt helped box in the car.

“I slowed down, he slowed down and eventually stopped,” Learman said about the Sunfire. The boy had trouble pulling over on Kinde Road near Sturm. Then, with the car still running and in gear, he couldn’t get the car unlocked. The officers calmed him down through the window enough to tell him how to unlock the car, then Britt put the car in park.

“He was crying and just kept saying he wanted to go to his dad’s,” Learman said. “That was pretty much it: he just wanted to go to his dad’s.”

Investigators discovered the boy had left his Sheridan Township home at about 10 a.m., heading for his father’s home in Filion. They were alerted by a Rochester man who called 911 after spotting the boy behind the wheel near the Caseville Dairy Queen. The boy’s mother, who was sleeping and had left instructions for the boy to wake her at 10 a.m., did not know he was missing until contacted by police.

“She was frantic,” Huron County Sheriff Kelly Hanson said. “I think we woke her up because she didn’t answer the first time. And when she called back, she was frantic. And when the deputy went down to pick her up and take her to the scene, she was pretty upset.”

The mother and boy immediately went to the county’s department of human services. The incident is also being reviewed by the Huron County Prosecutor’s Office, according to Hanson, who declined to identify the mother or son.

“If any charges are issued, (the prosecutor) is going to want to know things like that: where did he learn how to drive?” Hanson said, adding he did not know the answer to that question.

In his 11 years as chief of the Caseville Police, Learman said he’s never seen someone so young driving.

“Fifteen, 14, but never 7,” Learman said. “I’m just glad he didn’t get hurt, and no one else got hurt. I can just imagine the stop signs and other things he didn’t stop for. I’m just assuming a 7-year-old didn’t follow the traffic laws.”

Copy and paste link for video:

http://www.freep.com/article/20110621/NEWS06/110621012/Police-release-video-boy-7-pulled-over-after-driving-50-m-p-h-?odyssey=mod|mostview

Now there are so many places to go with this one…

Let me start with the heavy stuff. It would have been nice to hear from the biological father on this one. When I was a single father, one of my motivating mottos was, “You let me mold a child until they are 12 years old, you can try to take them away from me from then on, but you’ll never be able to take away the impact I had on their life.”

That boy’s biological father must have had some kind of impact.

But one must ask, what kind if impact did his mother have on his life? If his dad was a such an influence that the kid would be so daring as to take a car and go to see him, was it mom’s influence on him that would make him be so rebellious to do such a thing? Yes, even at seven, this child acted out in a very rebellious and disobedient way (of course I’m assuming he’s not fleeing an abusive situation). He’s not a dog finding his way home from the airport or something. My two children who are younger than seven, would know better than to do something like this as it is considered wrong. Children have to learn that a wrong behavior for the right motivation does not make the behavior any less wrong. But even that’s the responsibility of the adults in this child’s life to teach him that, so I blame them and not him.

But it still makes me ask: Dad, would your child fight so hard to see you? Especially if they were fleeing a dangerous situation?

If you answered “No”, what are you going to do about that?

Roland Martin, journalist and host of Washington Watch said this last Father’s Day, “…a child may be in Saudi Arabia, Australia, Afghanistan, wherever in the world and they make sure they get back home for Mother’s Day. But on Father’s Day, Dad is lucky to get a phone call…”.

Roland was right.

Sometimes dad hasn’t done enough to warrant a phone call and sometimes he’s done everything.  But our children grow up in a TV culture that does not value father’s (e.g. Homer Simpson, Tim Taylor, Al Bundy, and many commercial dads) and they are influenced by what they may see and what they may hear from mom.

So whatever this seven year old was going through at his mother’s home, it is very telling that he made such an effort to make his way back to his biological father’s house.  Also, notice I’ve refrained from saying, “real father’s house”? Well, sometimes the step-dad is the real dad in the home, so I never want to take away from the role that many of those men fulfill in the household as well when they are taking care of business.

Now, on a softer note.

Isn’t it good it happened on “mommy’s watch” and not “daddy’s”? I mean, come on, you know how it is when you’re with the baby or kids and one of them gets hurt and they are with you. Your emotions start flowing just like they did when you were a kid and were scared about what your parents might say about something bad you’ve done! And what do they mean, “If charges are filed…”? Us guys know that had that happened on dad’s watch, we would have been fearing her showing up at the police department and going off more so than the police themselves.

But isn’t it amazing when the kids fall and get a nice shiner on their head or scrap their knee on her watch…excuses are abundant like ”it happened so fast”, “I was right there”, and if all else fails, “Well if you would’ve been here…”.

Sometimes fellas, we just can’t win…

Introducing: The CornerstoneDad-Cost-to-Fun-Factor

Posted on by Cool Pappa

Perhaps it’s a sunny day outside or maybe you’re making a “where-to-go” list for your vacation. You or the First Lady of the home recommends going to X-park or Y-event and if you’re like me, your mind starts calculating…(hit dream sequence music), For all of us to go that’s $25 per ticket x 7 equals $175 and we’ll only be there 5 hours, so really that’s  $35 per hour of entertainment/activity. I don’t make that much at work per hour!”

Now let me introduce the CornerstoneDad-Cost-to-Fun-Factor (CCFF)! During the summer, my family hates to spend time inside the house. I don’t even like to visit other people if I know all we’re going to do is sit inside on a bright sunny day. Therefore, we tend to be a bit more loose with the entertainment envelope as we seek out places to take the kids without breaking the entire budget. Please still understand, If It’s Free, It’s Me! That’s still this CornerstoneDad’s motto, but sometimes you just have to unfold the wallet and do what you have to do for the family, something you already know as a CornerstoneDad.

So again, here’s our equation:

1.) Price per ticket x number of tickets = Total Cost

2.) Total Cost / Length of Time having fun = Total Cost per Hour (or minute depending how you far you want to calculate)

3.) Whatever the result, that decides whether we go or not.

Now for an example:

Major League baseball game tickets for decent seats run about $40 per ticket. A game lasts about 3 hours. So for all 7 of us to attend a game, the CCFF is over $93! If I include the $10 for parking (we’re not parking close, we all need the exercise anyway), $5 for a program, and my kids already know I do not stand for being gouged at the concession stand, that bumps the CCFF up over $98. Now you all know I’m a baseball fan all the way through, but it’s hard for me to justify paying that much money to watch a bunch of millionaires play ball when, like LeBron James reminded me, when I wake up tomorrow I’ll have my same problems (like financial ones) and they will be just fine.

 

Now the CCFF does not take into account other factors that may make an unreasonable high score a trip to consider. If my children have never attended a baseball game or there was a special team/player that they wanted to see, I may just shell out the cash. But where it comes in handy is reflected in a trip to an amusement park. The total between parking and tickets was around $140 (Twilight rate but only from 5-10pm) for a CCFF of $29. Now, if we would have done the typical all-day trip, the CCFF would have been around $40. Therefore, we went after 5pm, did not have to buy food and just wander around the park to get our money’s worth. The best part, the park was less crowded and the kids were still able to ride the “necessary” roller coasters.

You know...when you get older, you sure start thinking about a lot more "what ifs" when you're riding coasters!

Now how about you? Do you use something like the CCFF with your family and how have the results been? Has it worked out well? If not, give it a try and let us know the results.

What Do Reggie Jackson and My Father Have In Common?

Posted on by Cool Pappa

Today, Mr. October Reggie Jackson turned 65 years old. My dad recently turned nearly the same age at almost the same time. Reggie Jackson is a lover of muscle cars, my dad is as well. Reggie Jackson’s public persona seems extremely complex. Well, my dad’s public and private personas are complex as well. Reggie seemed to be one who did not believe in turning the other cheek. My dad’s advice to me was always throw the first punch because you don’t know if he’ll lay you out with his first blow. Reggie was born in Pennsylvania, my dad’s relatives are in Pennsylvania (okay, that one’s a stretch but I still counted it as a kid!).

But there is one glaring difference between the two men. Reggie made his fame and fortune from baseball and my dad hated sports. He made his fame at home and his fortune in the plant. Both men got dirty and worked with their hands, but in two very different ways.

Yet, had it not been for my father, I never would have looked up to “the straw that stirs the drink” (and Reggie did not mean that the way the reporter told it by the way).

Despite the fact that my dad never liked sports, he never discouraged my passion for baseball. As a matter of fact, two things he taught me early on that I’ve carried for over 30 years:

1.) Do not cheer for the home team, because they are losers.

2.) Look at Reggie, and how he handles himself, and that’s how you must handle yourself in this world.

 Dad knew the impact the ‘hood could have had on me. While we weren’t exactly living in the projects, many of the problems of the projects existed, just in a cleaner neighborhood. Selling drugs, or what we called “rollin'”, was still the fastest way for a kid to make a lot of money and have a lot of girls fast. Shootings across the street from our house were common along with break-ins, car theft, and fighting. Thankfully, we also had many parents working solid middle-class jobs to always keep the neighborhood a float. Since they weren’t allowed to move into traditional white suburbs, they were forced to stay in their own community so in many ways, it benefited us all as a whole.

What we also had commercially, was a lack of black athletes on television when they were not on the field. But when dad saw how Reggie mastered the King’s English and commanded respect for his knowledge of the game and demeanor, he was wise to tell me to observe. Reggie often commentated for ABC in the ’70s and ’80s if the Yankees were out of the playoffs.

Little did I know at that time that one day I would have to at least know many of the rules of the King’s English as well when I grew up. I would also have to not be the “typical nigga or black guy” that many of my colleagues would expect me to be, just like Reggie. I would have to talk a certain way at job interviews, avoid being labeled and yet stand up for myself and prove that I deserved to be in that class or office and not because of Affirmative Action. At the same time, I would have to be just as complex, for people in America have a hard time understanding how you can be pro-black and yet marry someone of a different race. I’m sure Reggie ran into this as to some black folks, Reggie was a sell-out with his proper talking, candy bars, and white girls. But Reggie seemed to always make sure that he represented himself and the black community well. He spoke out about teams that did not have enough black players and even advised former teammate Willie Randolph not to take the Detroit Tiger job. They were the worst of the worst in Major League baseball. Reggie threw out the question the black community always asks, “Why do we only get the job/call/White House when things cannot get any worse? That’s just setting us up to fail!”

I can’t say I idolized Reggie. The man never put food on my table, but he did wave at me when I yelled his name at a California Angels game…he did…really! I’ve memorized many of his stats, read his autobiography, visited the Baseball Hall of Fame to have my picture taken with his bust, and even named one of my kids after him. But my fascination with Mr. Jackson was never about him, but about what he represented. He was a man of class, determination, dependable, clutch-performer, and he danced to the beat of his own drum all the while paying homage to those like Robinson, Aaron, and Mays that bought the drum.

Overall, the man was much like my father.

So dad, who are you allowing to influence your son? Is it a street pimp, a corporate pimp, a drug-dealer, or a prescription drug-dealer? Do those people reflect the values that you want your son to have or the values that you have or at least want to have?

Understand this, somebody and something will influence your boys. You better take advantage of the time that you have to determine what kind of influence that will be. I’m glad my dad had the insight to do that when I was younger. While I’m no where near the man that I wanted to be, I’m no where near the man I could have been.

Happy Birthday Dad and Mr. October!

Two Things For You To Remember On Your Next Birthday

Posted on by Cool Pappa

In my house, we just celebrated three birthdays over a ten day span. I’m broke from buying gifts, fat from cake and ice cream, and I feel old as Methuselah. But my kids hit me with a few sayings that I, and you, may want to remember the next time we celebrate our birthday.

I told Boney that Daddy’s girl was getting older.

“Daddy”, she immediately replied, “I’m not getting older, I’m getting BIGGER!”

Yea kid, that’s the same for the rest of us and really becomes the case after 35.

My boy, aka the Large Professor, turned 12 years old. I asked him how it felt to be 12 and I was quite surprised at his response. “It feels good, and I’m glad that God let me live to be 12.”

No, not that Large Professor...although LP and the Main Source said some things to make the listener think as well.

Wow, I wasn’t expecting that.

He later went on to explain that since God still has allowed him to live, he must have more for him to do on this earth, and he wants to do what God wants him to do…and one thing he knows is that God does not want him to fall away from him.

I told him that his work is only beginning.

How about you?

Are you just getting bigger each birthday and just “living”, or are you doing the work God has for you to do?

6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 (NIV)

4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Ephesians 6:4 (NIV)

…just 15 Minutes: “Play Ball!” Style

Posted on by Cool Pappa

Finally, a couple of back-to-back warm and rain-free days allowed me and the boys to get out and throw the baseball around. Now we’ve gone out a few times already this year, but now it’s finally beginning to feel like baseball season.

For nearly 10 years, I played in the typical softball league and then I even decided to see if I still “had it” and play hardball. It was good to face real pitching and play with guys who took the game seriously (too seriously sometimes). Then I broke my hand and was forced to spend the next six months in a cast and a sling. I could not play with my kids the entire summer besides running and I officially retired like Barry Sanders. My wife doubted my retirement like Juanita Jordan, but I’m yet to step on the field again. Why, because I now have my own team to play with. A team that needs me more than any other. Not being able to be a Five-Tool Dad (run, throw, catch, hit, and teach), was too much for me and something I never want to experience again.

I am so impressed with the progress my six and twelve-year old sons have made. The elder has played baseball for six years, but the sport seems to be taking on more meaning for him, especially as he reads through a biography on Willie Mays. Recently, he drew me a picture of us playing ball together and labeled the ball park as the Polo Grounds. Now, there aren’t many kids today who even know who Willie Mays is, let alone what the Polo Grounds represent!

My six-year old, aka Big Homie, is showing the quick hands of an infielder and can throw with a little sizzle as well. This is a 180-degree turn from the boy that was scared of the ball just a year ago and threw like Ricky “Wild Thing” Vaughn. 

That’s one of the greatest parts of being a CornerstoneDad. Being there and assisting our children doing things that let us know they are “growing up”. Sure, mom keeps the teeth, hair from the first cut, and remembers the first step. But dad remembers that first game, keeps that first glove and that first model car.

Right now, I really don’t need “the fellas” to play ball with or other people to do something I enjoy. I can do it with my own boys (and my girls as I was out cruising with my 5 year old daughter the night before) as they can now throw hard and play hard. They are even able to heckle me when I make an error out in the field. Wow, these boys are learning fast. Dad does tend to crank-up his sweet-o-meter quite a bit when the ball comes his way, so the criticism is well deserved I guess.

I’ve also learned that I don’t have to spend all day outside playing with the kids, but if I can continue with starting with just 15 minutes of playing catch, throwing the ball around, or even giving occasional instruction if necessary, the payoff is immediate and appreciated. Just remember CornerstoneDad, 15 minutes is where you start. (See: http://cornerstonedad.com/2010/11/21/just-15-minutes/)

Whenever we leave the park, my 12 year old is always quick to say, “Thank you for taking us dad.” I often respond, “Thank you for going.”

Little does he know, I am the one who is far more appreciative as I have a more finite idea of time than he does.  Sons, I thank you, and will do all I can to remain on the field of play as long as I can with you.

How about you CornerstoneDad? What is the spring activity you remember learning/playing with your dad? Are you still able to play with them today?  What do you enjoy playing with your children this time of year? I’d love to hear about your experiences.

Tips On How to Wash Your Car for CornerstoneDads and CornerstoneKids

Posted on by Cool Pappa

The weather in my area finally hit a temperature where a person would feel guilty if they were not outside doing something. Many people take this time to actually clean and wash their car as they are good about getting the dirt and salt off during the winter, but a car may run around quite dirty during spring as after all, “Why wash the car since it’s going to rain anyway?”

Now for my family, the kids know the deal. When I go to the coin car wash, wax the van (hey, the minivan needs love too!), or even clay bar the van, they jump out and ask if they can help. Those little hands help indeed, as it often cuts my time in half and when they have done it often enough, they get pretty good at their assigned responsibilities. “Big Homie, knock out the wheels…Boney, get around the edges of the door…”. Ahhh…it’s good to have eager labor.

The boys in my family continue the tradition started by my father: you always need to drive a clean car. We will even wash a rental car. Not because we are trying to make it look like our own, but because we do not want to be seen in a dirty ride! This is yet another lesson that I’m passing on to my children. It teaches them good stewardship of the things they have in their possession, even if they have to give it back to someone else.

I must say, the ultimate is when we wash and clean the car, and jump in to cruise on a Friday or Saturday night. Oh, that’s quality family-time right there!

This article posted by Consumer Reports offers some tips on how to take care of that investment (or two) that’s sitting in your driveway.

Do’s and don’ts of washing your car

FAQs on the do-it-yourself car wash

For many vehicle owners, the weekend act of washing a car by hand is a therapeutic act as beneficial for the person’s state of mind as to the vehicle’s appearance. That’s good, because frequent washing is also the best way to maintain a new-car finish. But as simple as washing your car may seem, there are some things to watch for so that you don’t accidentally scratch or degrade the finish. Here are some basic car-washing tips.

When should I wash the car?

Don’t… wait for a layer of crud to accumulate before washing. Dead bugs, bird droppings, and chemicals from the atmosphere all leach acids that can strip away wax and eventually eat into your car’s paint. If left too long, they can cause damage that requires sanding and repainting the area to correct.

Do… wash off dead bugs, bird droppings, and tree-sap mist as soon as possible. Other than this, a weekly car wash will keep the finish in its best shape. In addition, if you live in an area that suffers from acid rain, rinse your vehicle off after a period of rainy weather. Otherwise, acidic chemicals in the rainwater will be left on the surface after the droplets have evaporated, leaving a mark that can permanently mar the paint.

What kind of products should I use?

Don’t… use household cleaning agents like hand soap, dishwashing detergent, or glass cleaner on the paint. These aren’t formulated for use on a car’s paint and may strip off the protective wax.

Do… use a dedicated car-wash product, which is milder and specifically designed for use on automotive paint. Apply the suds with a large, soft natural sponge or a lamb’s-wool mitt. See our car wax report for tips and advice on all types of waxes.

Grease, rubber, and road-tar deposits picked up from the road often accumulate around the wheel wells and along the lower edge of the body. These can be stubborn to remove and may require a stronger product, such as a bug-and-tar remover. Use a soft, nonabrasive cloth to remove these deposits, as they can quickly blacken your sponge.

Use a separate sponge to clean the wheels and tires, which may be coated with sand, brake dust, and other debris that could mar the car’s finish. Mild soap and water may work here; if not, a dedicated wheel cleaner may be required. Be sure the cleaner is compatible with the type of finish (paint, clear-coat, chrome, etc.) used on the wheels. A strong formula intended for mag wheels, for instance, can damage the clear coat that’s used on the wheels that come on today’s cars. To be on the safe side, choose a cleaner that’s labeled as safe for use on all wheels.

Are there any general guidelines I should follow when washing a car?

Don’t… wash your car when the body is hot, such as immediately after driving it or after it has been parked in direct sunlight for awhile. Heat speeds the drying of soap and water, making washing more difficult and increasing the chances that spots or deposits will form.

Don’t move the sponge in circles. This can create light, but noticeable scratches called swirl marks. Instead, move the sponge lengthwise across the hood and other body panels. And don’t continue using a sponge that’s dropped on the ground without thoroughly rinsing it out. The sponge can pick up dirt particles that can scratch the paint.

Do… rinse all surfaces thoroughly with water before you begin washing to remove loose dirt and debris that could cause scratching. Once you begin, concentrate on one section at a time, washing and rinsing each area completely before moving on to the next one. This ensures that you have plenty of time to rinse before the soap dries. Start at the top, and then work your way around the car.

Work the car-wash solution into a lather with plenty of suds that provide lots of lubrication on the paint surface. And rinse the sponge often. Using a separate bucket to rinse the sponge keeps dirt from getting mixed into the sudsy wash water.

When rinsing, use a hose without a nozzle and let the water flow over the car from top to bottom. This creates a sheeting action that helps minimize pooling of water.

How should I dry the car when I’m done?

Don’t… let the car air dry, and don’t expect a drive around the block to do an effective job. Either will leave watermarks, which in areas with hard water are the minerals left after evaporation. In addition, don’t use an abrasive towel or other material that can leave hairline scratches in the paint.

Do… use a chamois (natural or synthetic) or soft terry towels. If you choose towels, you may need several. It’s best to blot the water up instead of dragging the towel or chamois over the paint. The drying process can be speeded up by using a soft squeegee to remove most of the water on the body, but be sure the rubber is pliable and that it doesn’t pick up bits of dirt that can cause scratches.

Source: http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/cars/new-cars/news/2005/dos-and-donts-of-washing-your-car-1205/overview/index.htm

 

Video of how to wash your car:

Source: Youtube

D-Wade, Who Did You Call A Hero?

Posted on by Cool Pappa

Today I just so happened to catch a story on Dwyane Wade on ESPN’s E60 program. It seemed like a feel-good story about how Wade’s mother, who was addicted to drugs much of Wade’s life, has now made a recovery and re-established her relationship with her son. ESPN reported that Wade grew up in Chicago, protected and reared by his older sister, while his mother used and sold drugs from the family dwelling. After doing various stints in prison, Wade’s mom later got off drugs, became a minister, and was even called a “hero” by her son Dwyane.

Usually in stories like this, I often ask, “Now where was the father?” Sadly, it’s more of a rhetorical question, as I often know the answer. However, in this case, dad was around according to ESPN and Wade. “D-Wade’s” dad was interviewed in the story and had wanted his son to live with him early on as he knew of the things going on in his “baby-mama’s” household. Wade Sr. and Jolinda had divorced when Wade Jr. was a boy. As the boy was becoming a man, Wade Sr.’s son came to live with him with the agreement of his mother Jolinda.

Now, all I know about the life of these three people is what they and ESPN shared in this short piece. But I was left asking, “Should’ve his dad been his hero? Why was the story not about his father, who was now remarried with a family of his own, and how he brought his son home and raised him into a man despite the things he saw his mother do in front of his very eyes?” It seems that the only time the word “hero” should have been used in this story would have been to refer to his dad, not his mother.

This is to not take away from the progress that his mother Jolinda has made in her life. But all too often, even when men do the “right thing”, it really is “no thing” to our society. I dare say, that if D-Wade’s father would have been a drug addict until his college career, the outcome of this story would have been very different. We’ve all heard it before…the “that man was nothing but a sperm donor who didn’t step-up to the plate” or “he didn’t make me the man I am today, my mother was both the mom and dad in my house”. At last report, Shaquille O’Neal’s father was the one addicted to drugs and prison when he was a child, and the two still do not have a relationship to this day.

 

So until I hear otherwise, I want to give a shout of honor to Dwyane Wade Sr., because somebody needs to give him some credit. Not because his son went on to dribble a basketball well and make shots with the sweet-o-meter cranked to high. But because he stepped in to raise a son who would later be a father, a father that would later fight for his own two children in a bitter divorce custody dispute. (See: http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/truehoop/miamiheat/news/story?id=6212517&campaign=rss&source=NBAHeadlines)

Sometimes fathers can teach you much more than how to play sports, but how to be a CornerstoneDad. Sometimes they teach you how to fight for your kids, instead of how to just fight in the street.

Here’s to hoping to hear more about Dwyane Wade Sr. from Dwyane Wade Jr. and the rest of the media.

Perhaps the story below should have been called, The Good Dad:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssDjJof00EM

Should the Government Have the Right to Take Your Child?

Posted on by Cool Pappa

The Parental Rights Amendment has been consistently coming up and I decided to look more into it to see it was just another political overreaction or if the issue actually has legs. Well, it may have legs larger than Arnold’s, as there does seem to be enough reason to be concerned. After hearing of this story in Detroit, MI, I figured it was time to get a post going. A Detroit woman shot at a Child Protective Service worker and police escort, as they were there to take the child because they did not feel she was getting the child adequate medical attention.

You can read the details here: http://detroit.cbslocal.com/2011/03/25/tense-stand-off-in-police-situation/

While I am NOT endorsing the mother’s actions without knowing all of the facts, I will say that it raises my eyebrows. A loving parent, could have their child taken, if the government does not feel they are acting in the best interest of the child. While this isn’t completely new, the current “courting” between the U.S. and the U.N. could give the government even more power, and the parents less. You see, if the United States adopted the United Nations’ Convention on the Rights of the Child treaty for this country, it could be used as law for all parents in the United States.

So what you say?

Well, remember it would only take a court decision using this treaty to back its decision, to set precedent for other court decisions. According to some, some judges are already beginning to refer to this treaty in their court decisions.

So what you say?

If you are a homeschooling parent, you already are aware of the fact that the government could take away this right if they were to deem homeschooling as unfit for your children.

If your child has been diagnosed as having some disorder (e.g. ADHD) and the school feels that it is in the best interest of your child to be put on medications that you do not approve of, what would you do? You would like to seek an alternative, but what would you do if it gets noted that you refused treatment and you were not looking out for the best interest of your child?

I personally know of a case where a family decided that the cancer treatment their loved one was receiving was just too much to bare. They sought alternative forms of therapy, much of which is not “approved” by Western doctors. Had this been their child instead of an adult, they’d like been jailed if the doctor did not approve of the outside medical attention.

You can read more about the issue and efforts to get the Constitution amended at: http://www.parentalrights.org/

There was a documentary on the issue that was aired on various networks in early March, the trailer is below.

Take a look at the issue for yourself and decide, is this something we should fear or embrace as a parent?

 

Are Cars from the Good Ole Days Better Than Those Today?

Posted on by Cool Pappa

Sometimes us CornerstoneDads have a way of making the past sound much more glorious than it actually was. Or is it just that when we are young, we tend to make myths out of the stories our dads told us as a child.

I’m not sure which it was for me, I just know that I have always considered muscle cars to be the baddest beasts on the street. Only recently did I have to concede that cars these days do almost everything better than the cars of yesteryear. Now before you send me hate mail, notice that I ALMOST!

So CornerstoneDads, what do you think? Is there a particular car that you just idolize because your pops had one and that was the first car you remember going fast in? How does it compare to what’s in your driveway today?

Because my dad raised us to hold Mopar muscle in the highest regard, the video below (check out the link) absolutely breaks my heart. Edmunds InsideLine tested the ’69 General Lee against the 2011 Charger R/T.

I am surely not a Mopar Fiat fan today, but I think we all have to admit that the cars of our youth and our parents youth, just can’t hang with the pavement peelers (if you turn off the traction control) out now. No offense to my dad’s ’68 383ci. Plymouth Road Runner and ’74 318ci Dodge Charger. Give me $30, 000 to lay down (must remain debt-free of course), and I’d still choose one of the cars he used to own before I’d even attempt to recapture my youth with a ’88 Ford Mustang LX 5.0L.

Which is your favorite?

http://www.insideline.com/dodge/charger/2011/2011-dodge-charger-rt-vs-the-general-lee.html

 

 

“Walking With The Kids”

Posted on by Cool Pappa

 

The weather in my area of the United States is finally consistently staying above the freezing mark. I cheer up not only because of the longer days with the sunlight that not only brightens my home but my mood as well, but because I have to opportunity to walk with my kids.

When my first son was born, there was a B-side song that I loved by Huey Lewis called Walking With the Kid. I must honestly confess that the song would hit me emotionally, as I was a non-custodial young father just trying to learn what it was to be a man, let alone a dad to this baby. But the song summarized perfectly the feeling that I had, trying not to be a deadbeat dad like so many around me, yet struggling financially and physically with so-called joint visitation. My time and my physical presence was about all I felt I could give. So Walking With the Kid became our unofficial anthem. I’m sure to this day he has no idea about the song and would probably cringe if he heard it, but I still bounce to it two decades later.

Now, I might have to call the song, Walking With the Kids, as I greatly enjoy the chance to go home and walk with one of the children. It’s an easy way to get Just 15 Minutes with them individually, to find out what’s going on in their world, and to explain my world to them. So far I’ve noticed a difference in the walks already this year, as my nine year old daughter contributes so much more to the conversation and even asks questions. My 11 year old son looks forward to our trips and (in typical guy fashion) takes pride if we run for a few minutes and he can hang right there with me shoulder-to-shoulder. One day soon, he’ll realize it’s not that big of an accomplishment because dad’s not good at running.

Of course, the improvement in health from the exercise is just a side benefit. Our kids need to be taught to move in the 21st century. As one comedian said, when my parents told me to “go play”, I knew that meant to head outside and find something to do. If we say, “Go play” to our children today, they’ll look at us bewildered and ask, “Play what? The Xbox?”

If you have the opportunity to go and walk with your kids, please take the time to do so. Start with once per week, and increase the days as you go along. One day, you may not be able to walk with them or they will not be around or have the time to walk with you. The time you do not take in the present, cannot be saved for the future. Invest and plant while the soil, their hearts and minds, are fertile.

Huey Lewis Walking With The Kid Lyrics

We’re going out on Sunday Afternoon
We’re gonna show the world what were made of
Me & my buddy will be dressed to kill

We’ll cruise to the playgroung & the park
Gonna fool aroung ’til it gets dark
If you think we’ll have some fun well you know we will
All of oursecrets
You know we’re gonna keep ’em hid
When we get home they’ll wanna know
Everything we did

Walking with the kid
Walking with the kid

We’re known around the neighborhood
Yeah we got a real reputation
The bad guys all respect us ’cause we’re family

We’re not afraid of anything at all
Cause we can handle any situation
If my partner gets in trouble well it’s up to me
All our friends are envious
Though they’ll never let it show
Sure enough later on
Everyone’s just gotta know
What we were
What we did

Walking with the kid
Walking with the kid

Walking, talking one on one
Walking, walking with my son

All Pro Dad Asks, “Why Do So Many Fathers Abandon their Children?”

Posted on by Cool Pappa

 

“Nearly 40% of children in America are now born out of wedlock.  This single fact is the main driver for why many fathers end up abandoning their children.  The African-American community is hit particularly hard with the heart-breaking fact that 2 out of 3 black children born do not have their mothers married to their fathers.  MSNBC did a courageous special focusing on this issue.  Watch former NFL player, Tiki Barber, lead a round-table discussion of this tragedy and see the personal struggle he faces with forgiving his own father.

Then, Tony Dungy shares what he thinks is at the root of the problem for father abandonment with all races, especially in the African-American community, and what the solution is.”
Why do you think father abandonment is so high?

Source: http://www.allprodad.com/pod/viewplayoftheday.php?date_pod=2011-02-02

“Junior Raising Junior” – The Cycle of Teenage Fatherhood

Posted on by Cool Pappa

While 13 sounds young enough to make headlines, in many areas of this country, that would not seem too surprising...even less if it's a 13 year old girl!

We often talk about generations of “babies raising babies” in the context of a young mother raising a baby, who later becomes a teenage mom herself. However, what about “junior raising junior”, as in a young father raising a son, who becomes a teenage-father?

An article published at the Yale Office of Public Affairs & Communications (http://opac.yale.edu/news/article.aspx?id=7208) reports that the Yale School of Public Health found sons of adolescent fathers are nearly twice as likely to perpetuate the cycle of young parenthood and become teenage dads themselves. While the deleterious effects of teenage motherhood are well studied, often talked about and greatly feared, teenage-fatherhood if often viewed from a much different perspective. However, like teenage-motherhood, the decision to become a father unleashes challenges for both the father and the child.

Those on the outside looking in often ask, “How could this happen? Did the child not learn the lesson watching the struggles of the parent?”

The article gives some indication as to why the cycle continues. ““The mechanism of this intergenerational cycle remains unclear. However, research suggests that parents are a major factor in shaping adolescent attitudes and often communicate their values and expectations through their behavior,” Sipsma said.”

In other words young dad, your actions speak louder than your words.

In upcoming posts we will explore how to be a Teenage CornerstoneDad. It can be done, it is possible and I am a testimony to this fact. I became a father at 19 years old, while working a “deadend” job and still living with my parents. Suffice to say, it cost me far more than I would have ever imagined.

It will cost you far more than what you or any around you can imagine as well. Understand that I am not just talking about money. But, financially you will pay an enormous price as well.

We will also focus on the possibility of a tremendous payoff. This could be the opportunity of a lifetime for you to step up and be the man that you needed to learn how to be, albeit a bit early and before marriage.

If you are a teenage or even a single-father in your early 20’s, I would like to hear from you. Feel free to post your story in the comments section.