Holiday Baby Momma Drama

My friend Rob was a social worker and hated his job around the holidays. You would think there would be more peace, but exactly the opposite, as families fought worst than cats and dogs ever would. He stated the reason was because people are together only for holidays, when they normally avoid each other the rest of the year. Tempers begin to flare, words get said, booze is flowing, then fists start throwing.

However, if you and your child’s mother live in separate houses, you may know a little about those types of sparks during the holiday season. If you have not had that blow up yet, trust me, you probably will. Perhaps you buy the kids with your current wife/girlfriend (don’t date single mothers, there, you’ve been warned) more stuff than you bought for the child you two have together, you might get a phone call (or text these days I guess). Perhaps you do not have the money/gifts she wants to give the child you two have together because child support has you tapped out, or because it needs to be split with your other kids as well, then you will definitely get a phone call or text!

The advice by Rich Cooper is great in this short vid. I love his channel (and he’s a car guy as well so that helps) as Rich is all about telling men to focus on themselves, “Do the Work”, and focus on excellence, not booty. However, he’s also divorced and has a lot of good content on dealing with ex-wives and parenting, so I can’t recommend his channel enough.

If you have any advice on how to avoid, cope or just a story about “Baby Momma Drama” in your past, feel free to share in the comments below!

Furious Styles

A Time For Change

Men – I certainly haven’t been around much at Furious Fathering. Homeschooling, shifting home priorities and the focus on becoming a better man for 2017 has made me cut my computer usage dramatically. Too much time on the keyboard and not enough time building a better life and relationships were impacting my world.

That said, I’m going to let some of you guys know that I’m not going to be mixing words very much on this page. I’ve been a bit cautious in what I say to not alienate anyone, but that’s about to change. There are too many men, especially young fathers, that need the straight truth, because no one is really giving it to them, and no one ever gave it to me. I cannot sit idly by and address the issues the same way many in society do every day. In the end, it is producing wimpy men that do not deserve to have their kids, because they will produce little skinny jean wearing confused “men” that will soon be used to destroy the rest of our community. Also, their special “baby momma” will have her ego fed even more and pull the same lame but effective game on the next guy she traps, urrrr loves, or needs as she’s hitting 30 and realizing nobody is checking for her anymore. So it’s time to settle down with that “nice guy”.

Are you that guy?

So if you aren’t ready for some iron-sharpen-iron discussions, you may want to drop out. If you think your life will be better if your special little snowflake that trapped you and pumped out your golden egg came back to you, you might wanna drop out. If you don’t want to see comments that rebuke the belief that your wife or your momma are the next best thing to Mary mother of Jesus, you might want to bounce. You’ve been warned. However, if you want to stay around and see where things go, challenge and exchange, then let’s get Furious with this dialogue, and become/build a better place for real father’s to come and learn how to lead.

CSD Ride Out: Welcome To Idlewild, Michigan

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The Streets of Idlewild

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How big was Idlewild? “By the 1950s and early 1960s, Idlewild reached the height of its popularity. During those years nearly 25,000 vacationers made their way to the community, temporarily overwhelmingly the permanent year-round population. During this era Idlewild boasted more than 300 black-owned businesses.” – Blackpast.org

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Looking forward to The Comeback!

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“Morton’s has been home to music greats such as Aretha Franklin, the Four Tops and Della Reese. Our comfortable, recently renovated guest rooms – some with kitchenettes – Great Room with adjoining large kitchen and cable TV, outdoor open space dotted with lawn chairs, picnic courtyard with umbrella tables and canopied patio are some of our attractions. We provide a warm, inviting place…”- http://www.michigan.org/property/morton-s-motel/

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“While the clubs attracted black patrons, they were often examples of interracial mingling. As one Idlewild resident recalled, the clubs filled to capacity every night, and on some nights, “there were more white people in there than blacks. It wasn’t about race, it was about fun…
Idlewild, like other all-black resorts, would not survive the civil rights movement. As formerly white-only clubs and resorts across the nation integrated in the late 1960s, Idlewild went into decline. Its clubs and hotels closed as blacks began to frequent other resorts.” –blackpast.org

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“Judith Griffin now lives in New Jersey, but her family would drive from Chicago to Idlewild resort in Michigan every summer. Griffin recalls one trip where her father—one of the few black gastroenterologists at that time—pulled over to save the lives of motorists in a very bad accident. ..Because of discrimination, families like Griffin’s were forced to use what was called “The Green Book.” It was a directory of stops that would serve African Americans on the road.” –http://wmuk.org/post/black-travel-during-jim-crow-illustrated-green-book

CSD Saying Happy Father’s Day With Never Released Before Content

First, Happy Father’s Day to all my CSDs out there!

You know, it seems just like yesterday. The years I spent as a single-dad when my son was between 10-15 years old were the worst compared to the other 13 years. During this time period, I was struggling financially and trying to finish school to earn my degree, with the hope of coming up in this land of milk-n-honey. I was also trying to provide for my other children that were being born with my wife and also going to work at various places meant days that never ended and stress that felt like I was carrying a weight 24/7.

My poor sociology teacher had to read all about my struggles, as I poured my heart out in essay after essay. My son was at an age where he could choose (he was not given that “right” by me, but by his mom and the court) whether he wanted to come over to my home or not, and oftentimes for various reasons, he would not. Perhaps the ultimate knife in my chest was when he told the referee that he did not want to come to my home, as there were too many rules, he did not have fun and all we did was go over his grandparent’s house. My heart stopped beating that day in the court room, as I was fighting to maintain the visitation rights that I fought for when he was just a baby. I thought, “And this is how I get paid back?” “I’m being treated worse than Cain who said, ‘It ain’t mine’ and bounced. For those who have seen Menace To Society, they know what I’m talking about.

But it was all of those experiences that moved me to create this blog years later.

The essay below was one that I wrote in 2001 for my Social Science Theory class. My superb professor had us all develop a theory by the end of the semester, as she knew that social and psychological theories that change the world are not only born when you have a Ph.D.. So it is in the environment above that I have described, that my Alliance Theory was born. When I performed my research for the paper (yes, done without the internet and we had just got a computer for me to type this on), I learned that my theory had basically been previously presented and was known as Parental Alienation Syndrome.

I’ve never shared this publicly, and I’m posting pictures of the essay until I can type a more recent edition. Therefore, you get to see all of my grammar mistakes, the faded paper, etc.. But I wanted to share this on Father’s Day to once again encourage those of you struggling as well. You may not get to see your son or daughter today, as they may choose (or the mother may choose for them) to spend it with a new guy, with mommy or a step-father instead.

I know it hurts. It hurts to watch you and your child’s relationship melt and you seem to be the only one that cares. You know your child has no idea the impact that this is going to have in his or her life. But you hang in there. Never give up and cry to yourself if necessary. Emotions usually spring forth in the only way society allows men to grieve, and that’s through anger and violence. But you probably know that when you lose control in those arguments, you lose. She can just pick up her “toys” if you will, and go home. You look like the bad-guy, and to your child, you are that bad guy. Why? Read the essay below.

Make today a special day for yourself. It’s special because you are still there, whether your son or daughter understands right now or not.

Now this was written 14 years ago, but what do you think? How has your life experience been and does this theory fit your situation? Let me know in the comments below or email me.

So again, if that phone doesn’t ring or no one comes to visit, you at least get a heart felt Happy Father’s Day from CSD my man, and may God bless you.

Peace.

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Terrorism Strikes Directly At the African-American Church – Now What?

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I will be praying for my brothers and sisters in South Carolina. Who were the victims? See HERE.

Sadly, if you’ve been following Cornerstonedad over the last couple of years, we saw this day coming.

Family Bible Study tonight had us in Prov. 18. How fitting:

3 Doing wrong leads to disgrace,
and scandalous behavior brings contempt.

5 It is not right to acquit the guilty
or deny justice to the innocent.

I think if we study verse 5 first, then look at verse 3, we’ll see how we got to the terrorist attack in South Carolina. Video after video showing African-Americans getting beat down and killed for cigs, toy guns, running, swimming in the suburbs, going to the club, having a heart attack (none of those were exaggerations, look them up). So many found “innocent” or not even tried in court so justice cannot be found. It was and still is, only a matter of time before other white supremacists consider themselves doing “the Lord’s work”, ‘making this country a better place”, and “taking their country back”. Yes, it is breeding more and more contempt against African-Americans. As Solomon said, there’s nothing new under the sun…

Original Terrorists

1.) My first response on hearing the news this morning: Still don’t think we’re in Jim Crow 2.0? Is this a 2015 or 1955? Also, this is not a “Hate Crime”, lets define it by what it is, this is terrorism! Remember African-Americans folks, terrorists from the Middle East ranked behind Patriot-groups as the #1 threat in this country.

2.) So I’ve been at work all day and I’m just seeing the news coverage on the terrorist massacre in S.C.. I’m so amazed seeing all of these images of African-American’s praying, holding hands, talking about forgiveness. However, with the exception of the Amish community, these images are not shown of Caucasians doing the same thing when a terrorist act is done against them. If anything, as a whole, we see “action” shots politically, with law enforcement, vigilante justice and even antagonistic rallies like those seen against Islam right now. Please reject and encourage our children to reject this “good negro” position.

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As Chaedria LaBouvier said HERE, “You tell us to be non-violent and pray – and be like Martin Luther King, the non-violent man whom White supremacy blew to smithereens – but yet, you follow us into those houses of worship, spilling them over with your violence.”

3.) The other day, news hit about an African-American felon, who had committed ID theft 11 years ago, who shot the family dog that attacked his daughter. He was being charged with several charges because as a felon and should not have been involved with a firearm. So why is this a racial issue that involves inequity in the prison pipeline system? Now lets look at today. This thug Dylann Storm Roof, “was arrested twice earlier this year, according to the Lexington County Sheriff’s department, which told TIME he had been booked at the Lexington County Detention Center on Feb. 28 and April 26, after being arrested by the Columbia Police Department. Local reports have said he was arrested at least once on drug charges. NPR has published the incident reports from the February and April arrests, which took place at the Columbiana mall in Columbia, South Carolina.” according to Time.com. 

So my question is, a.) how is he not in prison which leads to b.) how was he allowed access to a firearm? So if we’re going to end up talking about gun control, lets start here.

4.) This is why we have to play chess with our language. As I said, CALL THIS TERRORISM! When Jewish synagogs were being threatened by terrorism, Time magazine reported, “Many Jewish leaders say their synagogues are already armed with security systems, special glass, indoor-outdoor cameras and lighting to thwart unwanted visitors. A growing number of temples have received state homeland security grants for security upgrades to their facilities since 9/11.”

5.) What’s really sad, as that we have no African-American major media outlets to even cover this terrorist act.

6.) This one goes out to my church-folks that love them some Fox news. The terrorist attack in S.C. is about religious freedom and nothing about gun control. Guns don’t kill people, people kill people right? I agree. So… this Sunday, will you be profiling/searching all of the young white males that enter into your congregation? Come on, even the Washington Post brought this up a couple of years ago. So how can you possibly feel safe this Sunday? I think we really need to pray from the pulpit about the violence going on with this demographic. See HERE.

I asked the question HERE, and I wonder what the response will be from lighter-skinned Christians. Now “your own” have come up under attack. Will you defend them or your ethnicity? By and large, I bet the narrative gets changed, this will be forgotten, and most will act like nothing ever happened.

Until something happens to the dominant group or homosexuality comes up then it’s, “Oh, God is going to punish this nation for it’s wickedness…why can’t we just go back to the good old days!”

No thanks, but does it matter, we’re going back in time whether I like it or not.

CSD

Must Read Article: “I’m a black ex-cop, and this is the real truth about race and policing”

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Why have I been blogging about race and police violence so much? Because it is kids that look like mine that are dying and most in this country do not care, because it’s not their problem. But I fear for my sons and if you have darker skin and are reading this, yours as well.

No matter how much we teach them “proper manners”,  how to dress and give a firm handshake, home school them and teach them to remain sexually pure…when the LEO sees them walking, riding a bike (yes, look it up), and of course driving, those lights are getting tripped because our boys are seen as the face of criminal behavior regardless of what the statistics say. It’s in our country’s DNA, and this is why we cannot ignore, and I will not on this blog, the racial component. Therefore, any action even viewed (e.g. Tamir Rice) as defiant can end in death. At best, the LEO will approach them like they’re dealing with a gang member, not the 4x per week, active youth group, mission-taking, home schooled, authority-respecting young man that you’ve tried to raise.

That part, I can tell you from experience, has never changed in this country.

That leads me to today’s post. This is the best article that I’ve read so far concerning the police violence that we are hearing about regularly today.

Personally, I’m tired of the ignorant straw-man arguments about LEOs. Many still use the “you don’t understand how hard it is…” like some Uno Draw Four card to win the discussion. First, that certainly doesn’t work on me, as I know that one doesn’t have to “be in the shoes” to judge right and wrong. If that’s the case, most of the people saying, “What about black-on-black” crime?” have no validity as many are not “black”.

That said, here’s someone who has been there, so what do you think he has to say? Here are some excerpts:

“On any given day, in any police department in the nation, 15 percent of officers will do the right thing no matter what is happening. Fifteen percent of officers will abuse their authority at every opportunity. The remaining 70 percent could go either way depending on whom they are working with. That’s a theory from my friend K.L. Williams, who has trained thousands of officers around the country in use of force…”.

“And I worked with people like the president of my police academy class, who sent out an email after President Obama won the 2008 election that included the statement, “I can’t believe I live in a country full of ni**er lovers!!!!!!!!” He patrolled the streets in St. Louis in a number of black communities with the authority to act under the color of law.”

“It is not only white officers who abuse their authority. The effect of institutional racism is such that no matter what color the officer abusing the citizen is, in the vast majority of those cases of abuse that citizen will be black or brown. That is what is allowed.”

“The profession — the endeavor — is noble. But this myth about the general goodness of cops obscures the truth of what needs to be done to fix the system…Institutional racism runs throughout our criminal justice system. Its presence in police culture, though often flatly denied by the many police apologists that appear in the media now, has been central to the breakdown in police-community relationships for decades in spite of good people doing police work.”

“Beyond the many unarmed blacks killed by police, including recently Freddie Gray in Baltimore, other police abuses that don’t result in death foment resentment, distrust, and malice toward police in black and brown communities all over the country. Long before Darren Wilson shot and killed unarmed Michael Brown last August, there was a poisonous relationship between the Ferguson, Missouri, department and the community it claimed to serve. For example, in 2009 Henry Davis was stopped unlawfully in Ferguson, taken to the police station, and brutally beaten while in handcuffs. He was then charged for bleeding on the officers’ uniforms after they beat him.”

“About that 15 percent of officers who regularly abuse their power: a major problem is they exert an outsize influence on department culture and find support for their actions from ranking officers and police unions. Chicago is a prime example of this:…The victims were electrically shocked, suffocated, and beaten into false confessions that resulted in many of them being convicted and serving time for crimes they didn’t commit.  One man, Darrell Cannon, spent 24 years in prison for a crime he confessed to but didn’t commit. He confessed when officers repeatedly appeared to load a shotgun and after doing so each time put it in his mouth and pulled the trigger. Other men received electric shocks until they confessed.”

“This allows him to leave viewers with the impression that the recent protests against police brutality are baseless, and that allegations of racism are “totally wrong — just not true.” The reality of police abuse is not limited to a number of “very small incidents” that have impacted black people nationwide, but generations of experienced and witnessed abuse.The media is complicit in this myth-making: notice that the interviewer does not challenge Safir. She doesn’t point out, for example, the over $1 billion in settlementsthe NYPD has paid out over the last decade and a half for the misconduct of its officers. She doesn’t reference the numerous accounts of actual black or Hispanic NYPD officers who have been profiled and even assaulted without cause when they were out of uniform by white NYPD officers.”

“Instead she leads him with her questions to reference the heroism, selflessness, risk, and sacrifice that are a part of the endeavor that is law enforcement, but very clearly not always characteristic of police work in black and brown communities. The staging for this interview — US flag waving, somber-faced officers — is wash, rinse, and repeat with our national media. When you take a job as a police officer, you do so voluntarily. You understand the risks associated with the work. But because you signed on to do a dangerous job does not mean you are then allowed to violate the human rights, civil rights, and civil liberties of the people you serve. It’s the opposite. You should protect those rights, and when you don’t you should be held accountable. That simple statement will be received by police apologists as “anti-cop.”  It is not.”

Please read the full article HERE!

This one needs to be bookmarked if you’re tired of some of those discussions as well.

 

CSD Christmas Memories From Lillpappa

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This year was one of the roughest Christmas’s financially that we’ve honestly had in quite a while. But then again, does it really matter as I said in my last post here?

My kids didn’t get sheltered this year, and have received the same speech my job gives me every year. My job basically says, “You’ve performed great this year…but do to circumstances beyond our control like the economy, higher insurance costs, customers who aren’t increasing their orders…this is all we can do.”

So as my dad used to say, “Do you think the electric company, gas company, house note people tell me I don’t have to pay this month because it’s Christmas?”

Boy do I understand those words in a whole new way now. Perhaps more-so, because Lillpappa didn’t have Sallie Mae to throw in there as well!

However, Lillpappa would always try to get the three of us one “big” gift, and sometimes I could only imagine the looks on our faces when we unwrapped that gift.

This year I was again remembering one of the craziest gifts ever.

Let me set this one up.

This was around the time the Atari 2600 was jumping off the shelves. Kids in and out the ‘hood were getting this for a couple of Christmas’s and my brother, sister and I were expecting to finally get our family’s first video game system. So this Christmas was it, Black “Lillpappa” Santa was about to hook us up!

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SIKE!

I can’t remember who opened it, but I just remember seeing that box and…what…what is THAT?

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It’s the Bally/Astrocade!
What is that you asked? Yea, we asked that as well…

It was the Bally Astrocade! To this day, I have NEVER met anyone who had one of these systems. Let me repeat that, NEVER!

Now my dad is good for cutting-against-the-grain, but this might have been his best one ever. I’m sure this game system was a lot more powerful than we thought, but because it wasn’t an Atari, it didn’t matter to us too much. Obviously somebody else in this world had one because there’s a website HERE devoted to this great game system. Plus, it even has a wiki page!

“On the front of the unit was a 24-key “hex-pad” keyboard used for selecting games and options. Most cartridges included two games, and when they were inserted the machine would reset and display a menu starting with the programs on the cartridge and then listing the four built-in programs. On the back were a number of ports, including connectors for power, the controllers, and an expansion port. One oddity was that the top rear of the unit was empty, and could be opened to store up to 15 cartridges. The system’s ability to be upgraded from a Videogame console to Personal computer along with its library of nearly 30 games in 1982 are some reasons that made it more versatile than its main competitors, and was listed by Jeff Rovin as one of the seven major video game suppliers.”

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bally_Astrocade

Now, if you know Lillpappa, any look of disappointment would have meant that the bad-boy was going back to get returned and all we would have had to play with for Christmas would have been the wrapping paper! But reflecting on it today, he probably knew. The Atari was going for around $200, and that was in the late ’70s, so it would have been an extremely expensive purchase. But my dad still came through with something on that day when he didn’t have to do so. He always reminded us that he gave us Christmas all year long and that was no lie. Whether it was the trips to California, the Hot Wheels, baseball cards, GI Joes and dolls (the dolls were for my sister just so you all understand). We lacked nothing as we lived on his sole income in our household. Sure, I wanted whatever was hot at that time, (later it would be an Intellivision and Colecovision), but lacked nothing.

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Tecmo Bowl! Hut-Hut-Hut-Hut!!!!

 

 

 

 

So, not only am I thankful for my Savior this holiday season, I’m thankful for the sacrifices made by the real Santa Claus, the one that worked 16-hours shifts, drove some beat-up cars, paid for our private school, etc.. He did all of this when the lights, gas, insurance, mortgage company and so on still wanted their money by Christmas.

Thanks Dad. The older I get, the more I appreciate the sacrifices, and days like today amplify it even more for me.

Thank you Lord, for providing him a job, us a house, and plenty of food. I was a fat kid growing up so I certainly never missed a meal.

So as you open presents this morning, I leave you with a couple of jams that played in the background every year and a playlist that I put on every year with my family as well (sorry, no Bing Crosby in our house):

CornerstoneDad Announcement: Cornerstone…Grandfather?

My son KD, now has one that he will lead...

My son KD, now has one that he will lead…

Yes, that’s right!

Kory Devon is now building his own quiver, making me a Grandfather.

It is amazing to think that our family now has another generation added to it.

My grandfather was “Pop”.

My father took on the name “Lillpappa”.

Therefore, I will be taking on “Cool Pappa”.

This is also influenced by Negro League baseball player, James “Cool Papa” Bell.

While I’m sure I’ll be blogging about many of my thoughts from the eldership promotion, I’ll say right now that the biggest blessing that remains on my mind is that my father is still alive, I am still alive, my son is still alive and my grandson is now alive. Together, we all now span almost seven decades of life. From WWII, the Civil Rights Movement, Reaganomics, computers, the internet, 9/11, The War on Drugs, The War on Terror and so much more.

God has been so good, so all I can do now is just be so thankful…for life.

CSD aka “Cool Pappa”

One Of My Mentors In The Faith, Chuck Smith of Calvary Chapel, Has Gone Home

I’ve been so busy lately and on a bit if a media blackout. One of the stories that got past me was one that saddened me quite a bit, Chuck Smith Pastor of Calvary Chapel died earlier this month at the age of 86.

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While I have never met Chuck Smith, his impact on my spiritual life was profound. My father (men, my father, get it?) played Chuck Smith sermons in the cassette deck of our ’77 Pontiac Bonneville (400 c.i., 4 bbl. and get this, 185 hp!) or in our home all the time. It seemed “Pastor Chuck” and John MacArthur of Grace To You were on heavy rotation in our household. They were who we listened to on those four-day trips to California that we made annually in the late ’70s.

While I’d later have a few theological differences with Chuck Smith (more from what I’ve heard from others than from what I’ve actually heard him teach), he was one of the first preachers I heard as a kid that didn’t scream, spit, and have a hype-man. He just said, “Would you open your Bible to ___ and verse ____.” Then he’s spend the next 30 minutes teaching off of two verses, breaking down the time period, culture, fit in overall scripture, etc.. True biblical exegesis, critically explaining and examine the text.

Without Chuck, there probably would be no “UNITE REPORT” on this blog! Yes, Chuck did love talking about Bible prophesy and the End Times, but personally I never remember him throwing out a date like the article below mentions. From everything I remember hearing, he’d always point out the fact that our society is now getting to a place that from a technical standpoint, Christ could come back and a cashless society that is able to track citizens anywhere and force them to submit to the system of the anti-christ is now possible. At no time in history had this been possible, so I think Chuck was fascinated by this fact. Of course, I remember Chuck saying this back in the ’70’s, when these new things were just coming out called, “scanners” and “computer chips”. Being the great bible teacher that he was, I find it hard to believe that he gave an exact date for Christ’s return, but I think Chuck may have certainly said something like, “I think it is very likely Christ could return in the next 10 years.” I’m sure he was well aware of:

“But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.” Matt. 24:36

But like so many before, and like I’m sure Chuck always knew, and like we have to remember, we’ll likely be going home before that Great Day. So we must be prepared for the rapture or the grave at all times.

So there are two lessons I’ve learned as I reflect on Chuck Smith:

1.) Dad’s, we are the gatekeepers, especially for our boys on what’s sound doctrine within our homes. My dad introduced me to Christian Apologetics long before I ever knew what the term was and had us listening to solid teachers like Chuck Smith, John MacArthur and Walter Martin. When you listened to these guys, you were not going to hear a message where having your bible was optional. If you didn’t have it, you were lost! Guys where a “good message” wasn’t on politics, tithing equals prosperity and healing. A good message “open your bible, turn to”, “now, what are you going to do with God’s word?” and the Gospel.

2.) The aforementioned guys have messages that live forever and never grow stale. As we’ve all learned with J. Vernon McGee, start at Genesis, push forward. After Revelation 22, repeat. If you do it over and over again, you never have to worry about politics or the “Christian Hot Topic of The Day”, and your life’s work can live forever.

My prayers go out to Chuck Smith’s family and Calvary Chapel in “Costa Mesa, California” (after ever broadcast they’d say the home of the church and it seemed to have the coolest name). I’m sure you know that the man you all loved impacted so many people for the Kingdom of God and although I never got to meet my man on this side, I look forward to some great conversations on the other.

Here are the links to the ministries of the men above:

Chuck Smith: http://www.twft.com/

John MacArthur – http://www.gty.org/

Walter Martin: http://www.waltermartin.com/

J. Vernon McGee: http://www.ttb.org/

Ironically, the article below was sent by who? My dad, Lillpappa…how fitting. Please check it out and if you have any comments, please leave them below.

SOURCE: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/14/us/chuck-smith-minister-who-preached-to-flower-children-dies-at-86.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1

Chuck Smith, Minister Who Preached to Flower Children, Dies at 86

The Rev. Chuck Smith, a Southern California minister who shepherded flower children and rock ’n’ roll into the conservative wing of the evangelical movement while building a religious organization that grew to encompass 700 congregations and hundreds of radio stations, died on Oct. 3 at his home in Newport Beach, Calif. He was 86.

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The Rev. Chuck Smith

The cause was lung cancer, said a spokesman for Calvary Chapel of Costa Mesa, the flagship church of Mr. Smith’s worldwide Calvary Chapel federation.

Though lesser known than evangelical leaders like the Rev. Pat Robertson and the Rev. James C. Dobson, Mr. Smith was influential for his liturgical innovations, for the cultivation of a new generation of prominent preachers and for the introduction of pop culture into the evangelical movement’s vernacular.

His amalgam of fire-and-brimstone theology and avuncular charm made him a successful if unlikely Christian fundamentalist ambassador to the youth culture of the late 1960s. He predicted the end of the world and condemned drug use, sex out of wedlock, abortion and homosexuality while serving as pastor to a hippie tribe known as the Jesus Movement.

To his ragged following he was Papa Chuck, and he welcomed them to his church by the thousands, accepting their barefoot, floor-sitting, outdoor-living habits and incorporating their rock music into his Sunday services — an innovation that other evangelical churches as well as mainline Protestant and Roman Catholic churches later adopted.

His decision to dispense with the traditional liturgy, replace pipe organs with electric guitars, preach from the pulpit in a Hawaiian shirt if he felt like it and give the same come-as-you-are rights to worshipers set the standard in the 1970s for what the church historian Donald E. Miller, a professor of religion at the University of Southern California, has called the “new paradigm” of independent Christian megachurches.

Mr. Smith’s disavowal of denominational labels — he did not call his church Pentecostal, Baptist or Assembly of God, but rather “just a Christian church” — has also been widely embraced in the evangelical world.

In 1971, Mr. Smith helped found Maranatha Music, one of the first contemporary Christian record companies in the United States, partly to provide a platform for the Christian musicians and songwriters who performed at his church. The group Love Song,one of the first Christian rock groups, was for a time a kind of house band at Calvary Chapel. In 1996, Mr. Smith and a protégé, Mike Kestler, founded the Calvary Satellite Network, which broadcasts sermons and Christian music over about 400 low-power and 50 full-power stations in 45 states.

Mr. Smith himself was never a fiery preacher and rarely appeared on television. His sermons, with line-by-line explications of the Bible, were more professorial than charismatic.

Outside Calvary Chapel, he was probably best known for the people he mentored. Those who went on to lead large evangelical organizations of their own included Greg Laurie, pastor of Harvest Christian Fellowship, a network of several hundred churches; and Kenn Gulliksen, the founder of a church movement called Vineyard, who introduced Bob Dylan to evangelical Christianity, which Mr. Dylan embraced in the 1970s and early ’80s. (Mr. Gulliksen is often referred to as “Bob Dylan’s pastor.”)

It was Mr. Smith’s simple teaching style and easygoing manner, mainly, that drew members of the Jesus Movement to his church in 1969, after his own teenage children had introduced him to movement followers they had befriended at the beach. One was Lonnie Frisbee, a self-described mystic and prophet who became prominent in the movement.

With Mr. Frisbee as his liaison, Mr. Smith was soon holding mass baptisms in the surf at Corona del Mar, dunking longhaired men and women in the Pacific by the hundreds. Some called them “Jesus freaks,” a phrase Time magazine used in a 1971 cover article about the movement.

“It looked like no congregation anyone had ever seen before,” Mr. Laurie wrote in his 2008 memoir, “Lost Boy.” “Barefoot hippies sat on the floor, praising the Lord, while old ladies in hats smiled, shrugged and sang their hymns.”

Randall Balmer, a scholar of evangelical culture and chairman of the Dartmouth College religion department, said in an interview that even in a congregation that embraced the counterculture, Mr. Smith never sugarcoated his fundamentalist beliefs. Besides condemning illicit sex and recreational drugs, he called homosexuality “a perverted lifestyle,” warned of the eternal hell awaiting sinners and promised the imminent arrival of Armageddon. (He said the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks signaled God’s displeasure with the general acceptance of homosexuality and abortion.)

Mr. Balmer said some of Mr. Smith’s young followers might have been disillusioned with the counterculture and searching for spiritual sustenance elsewhere when they joined Calvary Chapel. But the pastor’s genius for incorporating counterculture trappings into his brand of evangelism was part of his appeal too, Mr. Balmer said, as was his sheer likability.

“This was a very charming man,” he said.

Charles Ward Smith was born in Ventura, Calif., on June 25, 1927, to Charles and Maude Smith, whom he described to interviewers as “Bible quoting” Christians. His father was a salesman.

After graduating in 1948 from the Bible college of the Foursquare Church, a Pentecostal denomination, Mr. Smith served several of its congregations before leaving, convinced that internal politics was the “un-Christian” scourge of Foursquare and every other denomination.

“The more spiritual a man is, the less denominational he becomes,” he wrote years later.

He started his own church in the early 1960s and in 1965 agreed to become pastor of Calvary Chapel, which was then a struggling nondenominational congregation with about 25 members. By the 1970s, attendance at Sunday services averaged 3,000.

He is survived by his wife, Catherine L. Johnson Smith; four children, Chuck Jr., Jeff, Janette Smith Manderson and Cheryl Smith Brodersen; and five grandchildren.

Based on his reading of the Book of Revelation, Mr. Smith began predicting the end of the world in the early 1980s. Although his predictions repeatedly proved wrong, he was undeterred. “Every year I believe this could be the year,” he told an interviewer. “We are one year closer than we were.”

A version of this article appears in print on October 14, 2013, on page D8 of the New York edition with the headline: Chuck Smith, 86, Minister; Preached to Flower Children.

Day 25 of 30 Days On Dads: What Never Giving Up Is Really All About

Photo taken at: Creation Museum

Photo taken at: Creation Museum

In this morning’s bible study, we looked at 1 Samuel 27-28. We noticed that would-be King David seemed to have switched sides, and he became a mercenary for the Philistines. His faith seemed to have finally collapsed as King Saul’s pursuit seemed to have finally worn him down.

In chapter 28, King Saul was so desperate because he thought God was giving him the complete silent treatment and desired direction, that he sought advice from a witch. Both men seemed to have finally become frustrated with God and decided to try their own plan.

However, if you don’t know the ending,…”spoiler alert”: David would later be called a man after God’s own heart (Acts 13:22), and King Saul would be killed. Like Judas, King Saul had one last moment to turn from head-strong plunge into sin while David, who would fall many times after this incident even, always seemed to get back on the repentance track and turn toward God’s mercy.

There’s a lesson for us in there CSD’s.

I’ve made many mistakes in my life, but I’ve always tried to never give up and basically say, “Well, I’m doing plenty of wretched things, so I might as well be the best wretch I can be.” But how about you? Have you ever thought you’ve done something so unforgivable, that you felt like there’s no way God could forgive you? Maybe your wife/husband didn’t forgive you, your kids didn’t forgive you, or others you’ve offended didn’t forgive you, but God is merciful and will forgive you. Sometimes people have to wait and have “change” proven to them. Kids may not ever forgive, especially when the father is at fault (double-standard in effect here, because mom’s can do just about anything and be forgiven by kids, see my post on D. Wade here), but that cannot change you.

I don’t want my kids to make mistakes early in life, like I did, like David did,  and just feel like that act defines them or their future. King Saul allowed his mistakes to define him, he ruined his life, it cost him his life. Don’t let it happen to you either Dad. Before you go to bed tonight and/or when your feet hit the floor in the morning, be determined to make a fresh start and put those mistakes just where they belong, in the past.

 

CSD

 

Day 22 of 30 Days On Dads – Buying High-Priced Sneakers: I Understand The Problem and Insanity, But Parents Are The Solution

Folks, watch the video below and let me know what you think.

If you are spending over $100 for some fashionable gym shoes/sneakers and you’re one paycheck short of a care-package, then you are a sheep. Sorry, but it needs to be said.

Parents, if you are buying these shoes for your kids and

a.) you can barely afford your own mortgage/rent/car note

b.) you are one paycheck short of a care-package

c.) you don’t want your kids “teased” because they don’t have the latest and greatest

You are a sheep as well.

Dave Ramsey says it all the time, “Learn to live like no one else, so one day you can live like no one else.”

But you know what? My generation is to blame! We made Jordan’s the shoes to have and I guess we see why we screamed foul and for help when the collapse of the housing market pulled our pants down, exposing us to the reality that we owned, excuses me, GOT LOANS for houses that we should not have purchased, had car loans that we should not have had and a host of other depreciating material possessions that we are willing to pay top dollar for because we can get the credit.

Maybe gym shoes/sneakers are the “gateway drug” for over-consumption?

NkeCostThe above was found in 1995 as part of the Just Don’t Do It Campaign at the University of Michigan. I have a feeling that since that time, the cost to consumer portion has gone up much more than the cost to Nike or the retailer.

So what “value” am I missing here folks? Check out the video the show on sneakers that aired on ESPN’s Outside The Lines titled, “Sneakerheads” Buying And Selling High-End Sneakers, and let me know in the comments below.

I gotta say though, at least that kid in the video had a plan and may be making a profit, but what about those of you who have them just sitting in the closet, ready to donate next year when that outfit is out of style or no longer fits? You’ll likely be working for that dude in the video one day, but you’ll also be putting his kids through college while you’re buying sneakers from his store.

I have one word: BAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Sheep