Fatherhood

In The CSD Driveway – 2015 Dodge Challenger 6.4-liter Scat Pack

Posted on by Cool Pappa

Spending the night the Dirty Dodge. The color is as ugly as the weather outside, but I must confess…this is still the BEST family man muscle car out today!

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Good:

– Launch Control!

– Rumble at start-up is incredible.

– Computer allows you to have plenty of fun in Sport mode with an insane menu of adjustments that you can make on the powertrain side.

– Plenty of leg room for the fam. My 8-year old sat behind me and I didn’t have to adjust my seat. That could not have been done in the Camaro or Mustang.

Events - 9024– Cylinder Deactivation works very well, but it’s still hard to pull more MPGs when you want to have your foot in it all the time. If it was my daily driver, I think I could get a consistent 20 mpg…which is what my other Dirty Dodge gets (that nasty minivan) but it would be a smile-filled 20!

– Did I mention Launch Control? If not, I’m telling you, Launch Control!

– Pretty smooth ride compared to the Mustang and Camaro as well.

– Real, usable trunk

– Love the HVAC and radio controls. No instruction manual needed to operate and everything was easy to find even while driving.

– The performance measuring menu is top-notch. You can monitor G-force, 0-60 mph, 0-100 mph, 1/8th mile and more.

– That Launch Control!

– Dare I say, for $39K, is it a bargain?

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Bad:

– While I appreciate the MDS, you can hear the engine cruising in four-cylinder mode, and it does not sound pretty.

– That color. However, two of the kids did like it…but Boney saw me pulling up and said, “Daddy’s home and he has a new car, and it’s green, and it’s ugly! (Now you see why she has her own segment right?)

 

2015 Dodge Challenger 6.4-liter Scat Pack adds a 6.4-liter HEMI V-8 engine with 470 horsepower, Tremec six-speed manual transmission, 180 mph speedometer, high-performance suspension, active stainless steel performance dual exhaust system, 220-amp alternator, Scat Pack striping, high-intensity discharge (HID) headlamps, Brembo four-piston high-performance brake package, and new 20-by-9-inch polished aluminum wheels with three-season performance tires. – From Allpar.com:

CSD

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CSD Greatest Day Ever: Attending Lecture By James W. Loewen With My Couple Members Of My Crew

Posted on by Cool Pappa

It was one of those GDEs (Greatest-Day’s-Ever).

It’s not often in life where you can meet the people who have written your academic textbooks, but my kids had just that opportunity as we attended a lecture with James Loewen. This is why I love homeschooling, and we’ve followed Loewen since I first heard about his book, Lies My Teacher Told Me.

This outing was perfect for me this week as my German colleague and I had a great time discussing history and compared a few interesting things about our countries.

1.) He noted that Germany has always taught its citizens about the Holocaust in an effort to acknowledge past sins and they have a desire never to see such a horrible atrocity happen again. I told him that I have a history book that I bought to use as a supplemental text this last year and there is no mention of slavery. The majority of people in this country know very little about the institution of slavery beyond its existence and could care less.

2.) Speaking of silence, Detroit had its version of the Berlin Wall as well. The  “Detroit Race Wall” was created to be a physical barrier dividing whites and blacks. As an NPR story noted, “”And the developer who wanted to develop in this area was told no by the FHA,” Horner says. “Because it was considered to be too close to an African-American neighborhood. And so the solution that the developer came up with was to build a 6-foot-high wall that runs for about three long city blocks.” This truly was a symbol of Jim Crow North.

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3.) Loewen has also done extensive research on Sundown towns. Sundown-towns required blacks to be out of town or face death by, you guessed it, sundown. Loewen told civilrights.org, “Well, the suburbs were all white for sundown policies, and this is clear after you read my book. So maybe there is some way to go after that decision and get it re-adjudicated. Certainly, that decision has left Detroit and the Detroit metropolitan area screwed to this day. And Detroit is the most segregated metropolitan area, it has the most downtown abandonment, and it had until the last five years the most sundown towns. Many of them have just recently broken and black folks can now live safely in at least three of the five Grosse Points, for instance, and in Dearborn, and in some of the others. But the damage has been done over the last several decades.” – http://www.civilrights.org/resources/bookclub/loewen-interview.html

There were actually MORE Sundown Towns in the north, than in the south! Source: Tolerace.org

There were actually MORE Sundown Towns in the north, than in the south! Source: Tolerace.org

4.) Loewen made dad right. CSD’s, you have to love that! He spoke of the importance of talking to people in order to find out real history. Young people today are far more text-savvy than they are book-savvy. Performing original research and interviews is becoming a lost skill, but it is vital in finding out the truth that (unlike Germany) our country has determined to suppress and modify in an effort to maintain a system of white supremacy. I’ve encouraged all of you to talk to your parents and friends about your past and race relations, because whether you realize it or not, it has shaped you. That past has shaped Detroit and if you live or lived in Michigan, Detroit shaped you.

only on 8 mile

It was truly a great night and the only down-side…my daughter didn’t bring the book so we could get it signed!

Oh well, it was still the Greatest Day Ever.

You can find out more about James Loewen at:

http://sundown.afro.illinois.edu/liesmyteachertoldme.php

“The Talk” Never Has An Expiration Date for African-American Parents

Posted on by Cool Pappa

Seattle Man

This man is 70 years old.

Is he a thug?

Why didn’t the officer lose her job?

Is the officer a thug?

Many are under the impression that only young African-American males are under more scrutiny by the police, as if they bring it on themselves under the guise of “black crime” (e.g. “super predators“).  However, I have pointed out numerous cases where older men have been under the same scrutiny for no reason. My caucasian father-in-law, who is in his mid-70s, has no fear of being pulled over by the police and he certainly doesn’t fear being arrested for walking with his cane.

Therefore, these types of incidents have more in common with Black Codes, than just some rogue police officer.

And again, if this is just one of those “bad” officers, why does she get to keep her job?

Is the police union concerned about truth and having an ethical department, or just supporting “their own”?

Read the story HERE.

CSD

Father’s Day Weekend Story: What If People Went To Church On Father’s Day For Dad, Like They We Do On Mother’s Day For Mom?

Posted on by Cool Pappa

Photo Source: http://mochadad.com/2014/05/how-my-faith-journey-influences-my-parenting/

Photo Source: Mochadad.com

Standards.

Maybe that will be the theme for this entire weekend, I don’t know.

But another standard my dad always set was that we were going to church as a family. Not only did we go to church, but we were to be engaged in church! That meant that we were expected to bring our bible to church, (he would check up on us to see if we had read our bible at home as well), we weren’t allowed to roam the halls when we were supposed to be in another class, and oh yea, you better be paying attention.

I remember him once saying, “You haven’t even been reading your bible! Look at all of that dust on it!”

We attended a small church growing up and the door opened up right into the auditorium. I used to turn around every time the door opened and one day my dad said, “Why do you keep turning around looking at the door? Ain’t nobody coming in to see you!”

To this day, no matter the venue or event, I try to give the speaker my undivided attention out of respect for them, and not turn around to look at everything else going on inside the room.

(Okay, my dad might not say this now-a-days with the fools walking into churches and robbing them!)

So I started thinking.

Dad, have you invited your kids to go to church with you on Father’s Day?

They say that a large group of people only go to church on Mother’s Day and Christmas and/or Easter. The reason Mother’s Day is mentioned is because we as kids know how proud we make our moms when we go to church with them. So why not set the same standard for Father’s Day?

Dad’s if your kids do not care, is it because you never held church attendance very important either?

So if you go to a gospel-centered church with a pastor who doesn’t lay into men for “not stepping up” in his Father’s Day message (one of my pet-peeves, as I’ve never heard a Mother’s Day message blasting women for “not stepping up”…and there are many who do not), invite your kids to church on Father’s Day.

Let us begin creating a new day standard where our children immediately know where dad’s going to be on Sunday, and how proud and blessed we feel before God that he has been so graceful and merciful to us by giving us children that we get to raise for Him.

What a responsibility, a privilege, an honor!

So, who’s going to church with their dad tomorrow and why or why not?

CSD

Father’s Day Weekend Story: You Can Get With This, Or You Can Get With That…

Posted on by Cool Pappa

keep-calm-and-get-out-of-my-house-2

Today a colleague at work was asking my son about home-school and I loved his comment about me.

He said, “Well, I know you think your dad is tough, but lets just say that he has standards.”.

I loved that comment and went on to tell him about a standard my dad had that I didn’t know about, and I’ll call it, “You can get with this, or you can get with that…”.

In my neighborhood growing up, we only had a choice of two junior high schools in our area. One was public and could have just been called Prison Prep, and the other was a small Catholic school a few blocks away. My parents chose to send me and my siblings to the Catholic school at who knows what kind of cost to the family budget.

So likely in considerable debt to give us a better life, I had the nerve to jump in the car after a day I probably got picked on for my weight and glasses (yes anti-homeschoolers, not all socialization is good socialization), and told my dad I wanted to quit school. Calm, cool and collected, I remember my dad gently explaining to me that I could do that if I wanted. My mind began to hit the dream sequence of getting a job as a batboy for a major league team, until they are ready for me to play at 18, and I’ll live at home playing baseball everyday till then (can you tell my junior high days pre-date video games?).

But dad didn’t stop there, he also told me that I must be prepared to move out because nobody that didn’t go to school was going to live in his house. 

Huh, wait…what?

Just like I knew that dad was serious when he told me if I ever went to jail, he would not come get me, I knew he was serious about this as well.

Dad knew that the street had nothing to offer me. So I guess why pass-go, and just hit the street at 12 or 13, because that’s where I’m going to be any way with no high school diploma. Did my dad think that a diploma was some kind of Willy-Wonka magic ticket? No, but he did know that if I finished school, that success will set a new sort-of subconscious standard in me, keep me off the street (meaning out of crime, not necessarily homeless for my hood-impaired readers), and maybe even set me up for a “good-job” one day.

Did I quit?

Well, to this day I love setting a particular goal and trying to meet what I set. I stayed away from the street (overall except for a couple of years at best and by God’s Grace, I survived) and I guess many would say I have a “good job”.

Dads are so unlike moms and that’s a great difference. There was no soft non-offensive answer, he didn’t care if I got mad and didn’t speak to him for a while, it was just time for me to decide if I wanted to make man-decisions while I was still a boy. He let me know that I better be ready to live with my choices.

That’s not being tough, that’s setting a standard and I think that no one sets the standards for the family as properly as, the father.

Happy Father’s Day Weekend!

CSD

This Video Summarizes Why I Started CornerstoneDad

Posted on by Cool Pappa

I’ve never met this brother.

I’d like to though.

In 4-minutes, he broke down a struggle that I had known for many, many years.

What he said was not very profound, for it is a story that many of us know so too well.

But it is profound, because he put it together in a poetic way, unleashing the pain, sadness, desire and compassion that only a father on the outside can feel.

Prentice Powell, keep spreading your message man, because brothers like us see every Father’s Day in a unique way.

We also know that our metric of a good father is not defined by our son’s mother, our friends, or the judge in a courtroom, but by that person we see in the mirror. That’s what makes us fight.

CSD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7B71p19_KuY

CornerstoneDad Podcast #13 – Is Purity A Realistic or Idealistic Goal For Kids Today? Panel Discussion With The Family

Posted on by Cool Pappa

WeAreFamily

This Is It!

This podcast is guaranteed to make my “Best of” show one day! I’m finally pleased to post part one of this terrific hot-mic discussion that I had with my wife, mother, sister, son, and his friend. Folks, this is our family and this is how we often talk when we get together, so consider it a “reality-show podcast”.

This is part one of our discussion, so in this episode we discuss:

Is purity even a realistic goal for young people to have in today’s society?

Is the current generation less pure than the baby-boomer generation?

Do women really give thought to the kind of father that they want for their children before laying down with a man?

Warning: Parental discretion is advised. I understand that some may not have talked to their children about sex or many of the subjects that we are going to discuss. Therefore, listen first, and determine if it’s age appropriate for your family. 

Your feedback is appreciated, so hit me up in the comment section or at the usual spots:

  • Facebook: CornerstoneDad
  • Twitter: CornerstoneDad

Click HERE to listen to Episode #13.

CSD Thought of the Day: Realize Who You Are To Her

Posted on by Cool Pappa

I’ve finally finished Meg Meeker’s book, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, and thought it was absolutely extraordinary.

There are so many great thoughts in the book, that I’d like to share a few of them periodically here.

Today’s thought: Realize Who You Are To Her

“When she is a baby, her eyes will search for your face. Her ears will listen for your voice and everything inside her will need to answer only one question, “Daddy, are you here?” If you are there, her body will grow better. Her IQ will start to rise, her development will track where it is supposed to, but more important, she will realize that life is good because you love her. You are her introduction to love; you are love itself.”

It’s been quite a few years since my little girls were in the baby stage. But I still remember those days. There was something about seeing them and knowing that one my roles would be as the protector of her heart, mind and body. The ground that I lay in her life in regards to love will determine how love is perceived and grows in all the other areas of her life.

Dad’s this is definitely one of those areas where both of you will reap what you sow.

So what kind of ground will you sow today? What kind of “soil of love” (I know that sounds cheesy, but it fit) are you creating in her life?

I remember I missed class because of the birth of my first daughter. Dr. Lyn Lewis, my professor at the time, told me that I would have a larger impact on the life of my daughter than my wife would. Over eleven years later, I realize how truly right she was and I’m still trying to make sure that impact is far more positive, than negative.

How about you?

If you have an adult daughter, how did you do and do you have any advice for the rest of us CSDs? Let us know in the comments below!

CSD

CornerstoneDad Podcast #12 – Say Your Love, Show Your Love!

Posted on by Cool Pappa

Catching up after a long break! We talk about where I’ve been and what’s been going on.

Plus:

– Life Action Summit and what it has done for me.

– Which comes first, the sports our kids play or the family?

– Best CSD Driveway EVER…Gullwing, CTS-V, Vette and GT-R!

– Main Topic – Do you tell and show your kids that you love them?

Plus, I wonder why a kid sporting $400 LeBron James gym shoes…is riding the bus!

Check out the podcast by clicking HERE-PODCAST #12

 

Dad, Do They Know You Still Love Them?

Posted on by Cool Pappa

 

A couple of weeks ago, our church started a group of meetings called the Life Action Summit. Quite honestly, my percentage level to attend was under 50%, as those “revival” type meetings are usually full of bad theology, financial begging, and as my boy Rob would say, “Momma-say-momma-sa-mumombusa”…in other words…speaking in tongues with no sign of an interpretation coming from anywhere.

All I can say is: OUCH.

I went for 11 days and:

Many of the lessons that I heard exhorted me to return to my first love, Jesus Christ.

Many of the lessons that I heard exhorted me to return to the love and commitment I have for my wife.

But many of the other lessons the I heard exhorted me to return to being the father that I am supposed to be as well.

Now why am I writing this to you?

Even if you are not a Christian, I think what I’m about to say applies to you.

Do you need to return to the love you had for your children when they were born?

Like a wedding, I’ve found that parents have showers, celebrate, cry, tell everyone and are just so excited about becoming parents when the woman announces she’s pregnant and delivers the baby. However, after a few years, just like marriage, that loves seems to change.

From 0-5, they are cute and we are patient, as they discover this world and still have a smile that melts our hearts.

From 6-10, they’re not as cute and that smile now gets accompanied with a frown when they don’t have their way, and our patience lessens.

From 11-15, we often go through the motions as they become their own person that we like/dislike and our lives are full of school events, sports, and “stuff”.

From 16-18, we are just trying to endure to the end. We back off as to not “push them away”, as they scream silently, “Mom, Dad, would you please give me some direction and guidance?” Then high school graduation comes and as they walk across the stage we say, “Where did all the years go? There’s so much more I wish I could teach them…”.

Quite honestly, some parents say, “Get out! You’re 18 now!”

What happened to all the promises we told ourselves? Promises how we’d protect them, provide a stable household for them, tell them that they can always come to us, kisses and “I love you-goo-goo-ga-ga” accompanies with goofy faces.

Tonight, I’d like for you to reflect on whether you are truly still thankful for your children.

Next, ask yourself (and if you are really daring, your wife), if someone you didn’t know were to ask your kids, “Does your dad ACT AND SAY that he loves you?” What would the answer be to that person? What would your kids say?

So your CSD-homework assignment for this week? Tell your child/children that you love them. That’s it. I bet you acted like you did they were born, but what about now?

Let me know how it goes…

Photo taken at: Creation Museum

If you ever have an opportunity to go to a Life Action Summit, I cannot recommend it enough. It has certainly made a difference in my life and I’m not typing anything to you that I have not had to struggle with myself, as I’m far from the perfect dad. But over the last couple of weeks, I had the opportunity to sit with all five of my children and renew that love that I had for each one of them when they were brought into my life.

Just starting with “I Love You”, can be a way for you to begin that same journey as well.

CSD

 

Revenge of the Homeschooling Dad

Posted on by Cool Pappa

I’ve had it. I’m done. I’m tired of the comments.

I will come here to vent, but I may just vent on the people who feel the need to give me their opinion as well.

But if there are any homeschooling parents out there, feel free to chime in with your experiences as well.

I’m about to start a new section called: Revenge of the Homeschooling Dad.

First post:

Why are you asking about my kids socialization when all people complain about is how disrespectful children are these days, how self-centered they are, and how they aren’t learning anything in school…folks keep giving their unsolicited opinion to me, so I’m about to start giving mine….Oh yea, and they are so Biblically illiterate, that Jesus is nothing but a swear word to them, not their Savior.

Yea, it’s on now…if you want my skin to be thick enough for your opinions, I’m sure yours is thick enough to hear mine as well.

After all, I’m sure you went to school, so you know how to interact with various people and respect different views when my kids will not right?