Parenthood

CornerstoneDad Knowledge Nugget: Fannie Lou Hamer

Posted on by Cool Pappa

Fannie Lou Hamer was born this day, October 6,  94 years ago in 1917. As election season is nearly in full force and as your children may be discussing politics in their classroom or homeschool room, are they familiar with the enormous contribution and amazing story of Fannie Lou Hamer?

Grab the kid(s), and get your 15 minutes (at least) in with the kids teaching them about this great American. Below is perhaps her most famous speech, given in 1964 at the Democratic National Convention.

This is why I love homeschooling, many schools would never discuss the life and contributions of Fannie Lou Hamer. I know I did not learn about her until college. But if you can’t control the main meal, give them the supplement!

May we all get sick and tired of being sick and tired, and spark change.

CornerstoneDad Podcast Episode #6 – Preparing for A Family? Sorry, You’ll Never Be Prepared

Posted on by Cool Pappa

At the beach enjoying the children, but it hasn’t always been this easy! In this episode, I have the most beautiful co-host in the world, my wife. We tell a little bit about us and how our lives have changed with every child that we have been blessed with. We didn’t always see it as a blessing, but thank God he knows better than we do.

Click to listen: CornerstoneDad Podcast Episode #6 – Preparing for A Family? Sorry, You’ll Never Be Prepared

Feel free to email me at: cornerstonedadpodcast@gmail.com and leave your comments about the show or tell us how your life has changed with your children. Have things gone exactly the way you’ve expected them to go? Let us know!


CornerstoneDad Podcast Episode #5 – The World Is A Ghetto

Posted on by Cool Pappa

Today's Podcast Co-Host

Vacationing at the beach!

Just a quick podcast about my blog-post series, “The World Is A Ghetto”. Lets chat about:

– the stereotype of living in “the hood”

– why the house that’s “ghetto” on the block may be right next to you

– why getting “checked-in” didn’t mean someone wanted you, but they wanted what you were wearing

– if you’re a so-called interracial couple, do you ever just watch people watching you?

As always, please feel free to leave your comments and questions at: cornerstonedad@gmail.com

Enjoy the show!

CornerstoneDad

Click to listen: The World Is A Ghetto – Podcast #5


The World Is A Ghetto – Introduction

Posted on by Cool Pappa

As I have stated in the past, the neighborhood I grew up in wasn’t the worst, but it wasn’t the greatest either. On a scale of 1 (great) and 10 (horrible), Suburbanites would have put it at about an 8 while those with street knowledge would have probably ranked it a 6. Yet, my suburban church and schoolmates always made me feel like my neighborhood and the dark-skinned people that looked like me were rotten to the core, unable to govern themselves or control their lust for violence and depravity. Even as an adult now, I still hear the comments with many I interact with at church, my neighborhood, school and work.

I remember seeing this movie by Eddie Murphy (back when nearly everything he touched turned to gold, well, except this:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_HkH-plx7U) called Trading Places where he played a guy named Valentine, a street-hustler. This movie taught me a lesson about a concept that even has an anthem and I continue to believe in to this day:

The World Is A Ghetto

The dominant color group in America tends to associate violent acts with those in the minority color groups. Dan Ackroyd demonstrated in Trading Places that under the right circumstances, even the rich would rob, steal and kill to “make ends meet”.

In the movie, Rudulph Duke delivered the punch-line, “We took a perfectly useless psychopath like Valentine, and turned him into a successful executive. And during the same time, we turned an honest, hard-working man into a violently, deranged, would-be killer!”

 But long before, the book of Proverbs stated:

 7Two things I ask of you;
deny them not to me before I die:
8Remove far from me falsehood and lying;
give me neither poverty nor riches;
feed me with the food that is needful for me,
9lest I be full and deny you
and say, “Who is the LORD?”
or lest I be poor and steal
and profane the name of my God.

The words of Agur son of Jakeh

Proverbs 30:7-9

English Standard Version (ESV)

While Agur was a man of God, he knew that things could get so bad in his life that he might become a criminal (or “hustle” as many say in today’s world) in order to survive.

Starving Africans

“Survival” is relative as millions more know the difference in not having the means to get food and water, and not having food and water.

So why is the world a ghetto? Because no matter how nice your suburb, from an infrastructure and social perspective, understand that your neighborhood would be the same way as that “ghetto” if you had the same problems. Publicly, the only reason many areas are not considered even worse is because  of the free-pass many in the suburbs are given because, “We never thought something like this would happen out here…”. Two weeks later “it” happens again and someone’s on the local news saying, “Things like this just never happen out here…”

Now, how do I know? Because as a child I went to school in a blue-collar middle-class suburban neighborhood and to church in a suburban affluent neighborhood. As an adult, I’ve worked mostly and now live in a middle-class suburban neighborhood. I’ve heard the comments and carefully observed the changes, and there is a great hypocrisy.

So this was just an introduction to a series of future installments titled: The World Is A Ghetto, which will highlight the hypocrisy. The ghetto isn’t just your local big city with abandoned buildings, crackheads, assaults and burglaries. Yes, where you and I live has those same “ghetto” tendencies lying dormant in our city’s DNA (to my siblings, DNA stands for Deoxyribonucleic Acid).

Now the lessons for CornerstoneDads? Teach your children that they are not less prone to sin against God and others because of the shade of their skin or where they live.

If you disagree, lets just take a little test, as you may be saying, “We’ve pulled ourselves up by our bootstraps and worked hard for everything unlike those other folks…we are better than they are!”

Dad, have you ever stolen anything? You know, something from work or your neighbor? How about that item that you never returned when you could have numerous times, but you said, “They won’t miss it.”

Dad, have you ever lied? You know, to the government (after all, taxes are just plain “wrong”), to your insurance carrier (is it really fair that they charge so much and you’ve never filed a claim?)

If you answered yes to the above, and I know you did because you’re an honest guy, that means you and I are no different than the folks in the “ghetto” that lie, cheat and steal. While the victims may be different, the rationale and sin is not.

You need a Savior, and money, “values”, and tradition will not save you.

I didn’t even touch on so-called “white collar” crime that reign supreme in the suburbs. The bottom line is that crime happens everywhere. Regardless of a city’s dominant color group or social class, people will rob, steal, kill, not remove the snow or cut the grass at your local ball field, etc. if the social conditions were set just right and money gets tight.

A policeman put it best when he reflected the lawlessness experienced in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. “People would be surprised at how little separates us from complete anarchy in this country.”

Nope, I’ve studied human behavior for quite some time now, I wouldn’t be surprised at all.

Check out the video below on the new “thang”, Flash Robberies…and I don’t think they were stealing to survive.

CornerstoneDad Podcast Episode #4 – T4 and KD Interview Part Two

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Being a Young Dad Isn't Easy

My interview with T4 and Kory Devon is finally here (this podcasting stuff isn’t as easy as it sounds)!

This is a continuation of our last show where we tackle fatherhood. Father of two, T4 (check out his new blog at: http://www.t4-insight.blogspot.com/) and KD give us their perspective on:

– Why gun ownership and having a daughter go hand-and-hand

– What it is like being a father or perspective father

– Challenges of being a young father

– Our favorite fatherhood moments

– and much more.

Be sure to check it out and leave your comments here or drop me and email!

Click to listen: Interview with T4 and KD Part II


Seven Year Old Steals Car to See His Biological Dad? Can You Be Father of the Year with a Kid Like That?

Posted on by Cool Pappa

Sometimes life is truly stranger than fiction...because this kid certain sound like a kid from the Boondocks

By now you’ve probably heard this story:

Barefoot and still in pajamas, the 7-year-old boy stood on the side of a Caseville road on Monday morning, crying and begging to see his dad.

Police say that as his mother slept, the boy drove his stepfather’s red Pontiac Sunfire more than 20 miles from Sheridan Township by himself to try to get there, hitting speeds of 50 m.p.h. with police in pursuit.

“I was hoping he wasn’t going to crash,” Caseville Police Chief Jamie Learman said. “A couple of times he went off the right side, onto the berm in the gravel, and the vehicle was fishtailing a little bit. When that happened, he seemed to be increasing his speeds.”

Learman sped up and passed the boy, as Huron County Sheriff’s Office Deputy Randy Britt helped box in the car.

“I slowed down, he slowed down and eventually stopped,” Learman said about the Sunfire. The boy had trouble pulling over on Kinde Road near Sturm. Then, with the car still running and in gear, he couldn’t get the car unlocked. The officers calmed him down through the window enough to tell him how to unlock the car, then Britt put the car in park.

“He was crying and just kept saying he wanted to go to his dad’s,” Learman said. “That was pretty much it: he just wanted to go to his dad’s.”

Investigators discovered the boy had left his Sheridan Township home at about 10 a.m., heading for his father’s home in Filion. They were alerted by a Rochester man who called 911 after spotting the boy behind the wheel near the Caseville Dairy Queen. The boy’s mother, who was sleeping and had left instructions for the boy to wake her at 10 a.m., did not know he was missing until contacted by police.

“She was frantic,” Huron County Sheriff Kelly Hanson said. “I think we woke her up because she didn’t answer the first time. And when she called back, she was frantic. And when the deputy went down to pick her up and take her to the scene, she was pretty upset.”

The mother and boy immediately went to the county’s department of human services. The incident is also being reviewed by the Huron County Prosecutor’s Office, according to Hanson, who declined to identify the mother or son.

“If any charges are issued, (the prosecutor) is going to want to know things like that: where did he learn how to drive?” Hanson said, adding he did not know the answer to that question.

In his 11 years as chief of the Caseville Police, Learman said he’s never seen someone so young driving.

“Fifteen, 14, but never 7,” Learman said. “I’m just glad he didn’t get hurt, and no one else got hurt. I can just imagine the stop signs and other things he didn’t stop for. I’m just assuming a 7-year-old didn’t follow the traffic laws.”

Copy and paste link for video:

http://www.freep.com/article/20110621/NEWS06/110621012/Police-release-video-boy-7-pulled-over-after-driving-50-m-p-h-?odyssey=mod|mostview

Now there are so many places to go with this one…

Let me start with the heavy stuff. It would have been nice to hear from the biological father on this one. When I was a single father, one of my motivating mottos was, “You let me mold a child until they are 12 years old, you can try to take them away from me from then on, but you’ll never be able to take away the impact I had on their life.”

That boy’s biological father must have had some kind of impact.

But one must ask, what kind if impact did his mother have on his life? If his dad was a such an influence that the kid would be so daring as to take a car and go to see him, was it mom’s influence on him that would make him be so rebellious to do such a thing? Yes, even at seven, this child acted out in a very rebellious and disobedient way (of course I’m assuming he’s not fleeing an abusive situation). He’s not a dog finding his way home from the airport or something. My two children who are younger than seven, would know better than to do something like this as it is considered wrong. Children have to learn that a wrong behavior for the right motivation does not make the behavior any less wrong. But even that’s the responsibility of the adults in this child’s life to teach him that, so I blame them and not him.

But it still makes me ask: Dad, would your child fight so hard to see you? Especially if they were fleeing a dangerous situation?

If you answered “No”, what are you going to do about that?

Roland Martin, journalist and host of Washington Watch said this last Father’s Day, “…a child may be in Saudi Arabia, Australia, Afghanistan, wherever in the world and they make sure they get back home for Mother’s Day. But on Father’s Day, Dad is lucky to get a phone call…”.

Roland was right.

Sometimes dad hasn’t done enough to warrant a phone call and sometimes he’s done everything.  But our children grow up in a TV culture that does not value father’s (e.g. Homer Simpson, Tim Taylor, Al Bundy, and many commercial dads) and they are influenced by what they may see and what they may hear from mom.

So whatever this seven year old was going through at his mother’s home, it is very telling that he made such an effort to make his way back to his biological father’s house.  Also, notice I’ve refrained from saying, “real father’s house”? Well, sometimes the step-dad is the real dad in the home, so I never want to take away from the role that many of those men fulfill in the household as well when they are taking care of business.

Now, on a softer note.

Isn’t it good it happened on “mommy’s watch” and not “daddy’s”? I mean, come on, you know how it is when you’re with the baby or kids and one of them gets hurt and they are with you. Your emotions start flowing just like they did when you were a kid and were scared about what your parents might say about something bad you’ve done! And what do they mean, “If charges are filed…”? Us guys know that had that happened on dad’s watch, we would have been fearing her showing up at the police department and going off more so than the police themselves.

But isn’t it amazing when the kids fall and get a nice shiner on their head or scrap their knee on her watch…excuses are abundant like ”it happened so fast”, “I was right there”, and if all else fails, “Well if you would’ve been here…”.

Sometimes fellas, we just can’t win…

CornerstoneDad Says “Happy Father’s Day if…”

Posted on by Cool Pappa

happy-fathers-day

 

CornerstoneDads…

  • Happy Father’s Day if you a child
  • Happy Father’s Day if you’re teaching that child in the ways of the Lord
  • Happy Father’s Day if you’re spending time with your child, getting in “Just 15 Minutes”
  • Happy Father’s Day if you have one on the way!
  • Happy Father’s Day if you go to work everyday to make that money to take care of your children and you hate your job
  • Happy Father’s Day if you at least try to make as many games as you can even when you’re tired and just want to relax after a hard day’s work
  • Happy Father’s Day if you’re steadily looking for work to provide for your family and hustling in any legal way to can
  • Happy Father’s Day for those men in the military that hang in there after missing so many years of their children’s lives, but do all they can to still make sure they impact their lives
  • Happy Father’s Day if you can’t remember the last book you read because you’re always spending time with your kids
  • Happy Father’s Day if you have a lock on your bedroom door, because you understand the importance of spending time with your wife as well
  • Happy Father’s Day if you were determined not to let your child grow up without a dad,  despite what went through your head when your “baby’s momma” said, “I’m pregnant.”
  • Happy Father’s Day if you still worked hard despite the fact that child support was going to take a sizable part of your paycheck…and it didn’t take THAT much to raise a child
  • Happy Father’s Day if you traded in your sports/musclecar for a minivan
  • Happy Father’s Day if you fought kids for your kids, when your kids did not know how
Happy Father’s Day to my man James Evans!!! Definitely a guy who taught me how to be a better dad.
  • Happy Father’s Day if don’t know what it’s like to get holiday gifts, because it’s all about the kids
  • Happy Father’s Day if you’ve fought to see your kids in court, whether they wanted to see you or not
  • Happy Father’s Day if you hug your kids and tell them you love them on a regular basis
  • Happy Father’s Day if you are homeless, but still make an effort to stay involved in your kid’s life
  • Happy Father’s Day if the mother of your child aborted the baby you wanted, because it’s her body…but it takes two to make a baby
  • Happy Father’s Day if whatever you’re fixing takes twice as long so you can let your kids help
  • Happy Father’s Day if you know the real meaning of “I need” a larger car or house…it means that no more people can fit, not I just want more space
  • Happy Father’s Day if you’re raising or helping to raise your grandchildren!
  • Happy Father’s Day if you’re going to church today, and the preacher will give a sermon about how “men need to step up!”, while on Mother’s Day he preached, “Mother’s need to be honored…”
  • Happy Father’s Day if you take your kids around your city, state, and even country because a vacation isn’t time spent away from the family, but time spent with the family
  • Happy Father’s Day if you’re homeschooling your kids, because unlike other teachers, you don’t get time off and the pay is even worse
  • Happy Father’s Day if you know that if you die now, there are very few things you could say, “I wish I would’ve done _____ with my kids.”
  • Happy Father’s Day CornerstoneDad’s and Happy Father’s Day to my dad!
To my Old School Dads:
To my New School Dads:

What Do Reggie Jackson and My Father Have In Common?

Posted on by Cool Pappa

Today, Mr. October Reggie Jackson turned 65 years old. My dad recently turned nearly the same age at almost the same time. Reggie Jackson is a lover of muscle cars, my dad is as well. Reggie Jackson’s public persona seems extremely complex. Well, my dad’s public and private personas are complex as well. Reggie seemed to be one who did not believe in turning the other cheek. My dad’s advice to me was always throw the first punch because you don’t know if he’ll lay you out with his first blow. Reggie was born in Pennsylvania, my dad’s relatives are in Pennsylvania (okay, that one’s a stretch but I still counted it as a kid!).

But there is one glaring difference between the two men. Reggie made his fame and fortune from baseball and my dad hated sports. He made his fame at home and his fortune in the plant. Both men got dirty and worked with their hands, but in two very different ways.

Yet, had it not been for my father, I never would have looked up to “the straw that stirs the drink” (and Reggie did not mean that the way the reporter told it by the way).

Despite the fact that my dad never liked sports, he never discouraged my passion for baseball. As a matter of fact, two things he taught me early on that I’ve carried for over 30 years:

1.) Do not cheer for the home team, because they are losers.

2.) Look at Reggie, and how he handles himself, and that’s how you must handle yourself in this world.

 Dad knew the impact the ‘hood could have had on me. While we weren’t exactly living in the projects, many of the problems of the projects existed, just in a cleaner neighborhood. Selling drugs, or what we called “rollin'”, was still the fastest way for a kid to make a lot of money and have a lot of girls fast. Shootings across the street from our house were common along with break-ins, car theft, and fighting. Thankfully, we also had many parents working solid middle-class jobs to always keep the neighborhood a float. Since they weren’t allowed to move into traditional white suburbs, they were forced to stay in their own community so in many ways, it benefited us all as a whole.

What we also had commercially, was a lack of black athletes on television when they were not on the field. But when dad saw how Reggie mastered the King’s English and commanded respect for his knowledge of the game and demeanor, he was wise to tell me to observe. Reggie often commentated for ABC in the ’70s and ’80s if the Yankees were out of the playoffs.

Little did I know at that time that one day I would have to at least know many of the rules of the King’s English as well when I grew up. I would also have to not be the “typical nigga or black guy” that many of my colleagues would expect me to be, just like Reggie. I would have to talk a certain way at job interviews, avoid being labeled and yet stand up for myself and prove that I deserved to be in that class or office and not because of Affirmative Action. At the same time, I would have to be just as complex, for people in America have a hard time understanding how you can be pro-black and yet marry someone of a different race. I’m sure Reggie ran into this as to some black folks, Reggie was a sell-out with his proper talking, candy bars, and white girls. But Reggie seemed to always make sure that he represented himself and the black community well. He spoke out about teams that did not have enough black players and even advised former teammate Willie Randolph not to take the Detroit Tiger job. They were the worst of the worst in Major League baseball. Reggie threw out the question the black community always asks, “Why do we only get the job/call/White House when things cannot get any worse? That’s just setting us up to fail!”

I can’t say I idolized Reggie. The man never put food on my table, but he did wave at me when I yelled his name at a California Angels game…he did…really! I’ve memorized many of his stats, read his autobiography, visited the Baseball Hall of Fame to have my picture taken with his bust, and even named one of my kids after him. But my fascination with Mr. Jackson was never about him, but about what he represented. He was a man of class, determination, dependable, clutch-performer, and he danced to the beat of his own drum all the while paying homage to those like Robinson, Aaron, and Mays that bought the drum.

Overall, the man was much like my father.

So dad, who are you allowing to influence your son? Is it a street pimp, a corporate pimp, a drug-dealer, or a prescription drug-dealer? Do those people reflect the values that you want your son to have or the values that you have or at least want to have?

Understand this, somebody and something will influence your boys. You better take advantage of the time that you have to determine what kind of influence that will be. I’m glad my dad had the insight to do that when I was younger. While I’m no where near the man that I wanted to be, I’m no where near the man I could have been.

Happy Birthday Dad and Mr. October!

Two Things For You To Remember On Your Next Birthday

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In my house, we just celebrated three birthdays over a ten day span. I’m broke from buying gifts, fat from cake and ice cream, and I feel old as Methuselah. But my kids hit me with a few sayings that I, and you, may want to remember the next time we celebrate our birthday.

I told Boney that Daddy’s girl was getting older.

“Daddy”, she immediately replied, “I’m not getting older, I’m getting BIGGER!”

Yea kid, that’s the same for the rest of us and really becomes the case after 35.

My boy, aka the Large Professor, turned 12 years old. I asked him how it felt to be 12 and I was quite surprised at his response. “It feels good, and I’m glad that God let me live to be 12.”

No, not that Large Professor...although LP and the Main Source said some things to make the listener think as well.

Wow, I wasn’t expecting that.

He later went on to explain that since God still has allowed him to live, he must have more for him to do on this earth, and he wants to do what God wants him to do…and one thing he knows is that God does not want him to fall away from him.

I told him that his work is only beginning.

How about you?

Are you just getting bigger each birthday and just “living”, or are you doing the work God has for you to do?

6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 (NIV)

4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Ephesians 6:4 (NIV)

…just 15 Minutes: “Play Ball!” Style

Posted on by Cool Pappa

Finally, a couple of back-to-back warm and rain-free days allowed me and the boys to get out and throw the baseball around. Now we’ve gone out a few times already this year, but now it’s finally beginning to feel like baseball season.

For nearly 10 years, I played in the typical softball league and then I even decided to see if I still “had it” and play hardball. It was good to face real pitching and play with guys who took the game seriously (too seriously sometimes). Then I broke my hand and was forced to spend the next six months in a cast and a sling. I could not play with my kids the entire summer besides running and I officially retired like Barry Sanders. My wife doubted my retirement like Juanita Jordan, but I’m yet to step on the field again. Why, because I now have my own team to play with. A team that needs me more than any other. Not being able to be a Five-Tool Dad (run, throw, catch, hit, and teach), was too much for me and something I never want to experience again.

I am so impressed with the progress my six and twelve-year old sons have made. The elder has played baseball for six years, but the sport seems to be taking on more meaning for him, especially as he reads through a biography on Willie Mays. Recently, he drew me a picture of us playing ball together and labeled the ball park as the Polo Grounds. Now, there aren’t many kids today who even know who Willie Mays is, let alone what the Polo Grounds represent!

My six-year old, aka Big Homie, is showing the quick hands of an infielder and can throw with a little sizzle as well. This is a 180-degree turn from the boy that was scared of the ball just a year ago and threw like Ricky “Wild Thing” Vaughn. 

That’s one of the greatest parts of being a CornerstoneDad. Being there and assisting our children doing things that let us know they are “growing up”. Sure, mom keeps the teeth, hair from the first cut, and remembers the first step. But dad remembers that first game, keeps that first glove and that first model car.

Right now, I really don’t need “the fellas” to play ball with or other people to do something I enjoy. I can do it with my own boys (and my girls as I was out cruising with my 5 year old daughter the night before) as they can now throw hard and play hard. They are even able to heckle me when I make an error out in the field. Wow, these boys are learning fast. Dad does tend to crank-up his sweet-o-meter quite a bit when the ball comes his way, so the criticism is well deserved I guess.

I’ve also learned that I don’t have to spend all day outside playing with the kids, but if I can continue with starting with just 15 minutes of playing catch, throwing the ball around, or even giving occasional instruction if necessary, the payoff is immediate and appreciated. Just remember CornerstoneDad, 15 minutes is where you start. (See: http://cornerstonedad.com/2010/11/21/just-15-minutes/)

Whenever we leave the park, my 12 year old is always quick to say, “Thank you for taking us dad.” I often respond, “Thank you for going.”

Little does he know, I am the one who is far more appreciative as I have a more finite idea of time than he does.  Sons, I thank you, and will do all I can to remain on the field of play as long as I can with you.

How about you CornerstoneDad? What is the spring activity you remember learning/playing with your dad? Are you still able to play with them today?  What do you enjoy playing with your children this time of year? I’d love to hear about your experiences.

Tips On How to Wash Your Car for CornerstoneDads and CornerstoneKids

Posted on by Cool Pappa

The weather in my area finally hit a temperature where a person would feel guilty if they were not outside doing something. Many people take this time to actually clean and wash their car as they are good about getting the dirt and salt off during the winter, but a car may run around quite dirty during spring as after all, “Why wash the car since it’s going to rain anyway?”

Now for my family, the kids know the deal. When I go to the coin car wash, wax the van (hey, the minivan needs love too!), or even clay bar the van, they jump out and ask if they can help. Those little hands help indeed, as it often cuts my time in half and when they have done it often enough, they get pretty good at their assigned responsibilities. “Big Homie, knock out the wheels…Boney, get around the edges of the door…”. Ahhh…it’s good to have eager labor.

The boys in my family continue the tradition started by my father: you always need to drive a clean car. We will even wash a rental car. Not because we are trying to make it look like our own, but because we do not want to be seen in a dirty ride! This is yet another lesson that I’m passing on to my children. It teaches them good stewardship of the things they have in their possession, even if they have to give it back to someone else.

I must say, the ultimate is when we wash and clean the car, and jump in to cruise on a Friday or Saturday night. Oh, that’s quality family-time right there!

This article posted by Consumer Reports offers some tips on how to take care of that investment (or two) that’s sitting in your driveway.

Do’s and don’ts of washing your car

FAQs on the do-it-yourself car wash

For many vehicle owners, the weekend act of washing a car by hand is a therapeutic act as beneficial for the person’s state of mind as to the vehicle’s appearance. That’s good, because frequent washing is also the best way to maintain a new-car finish. But as simple as washing your car may seem, there are some things to watch for so that you don’t accidentally scratch or degrade the finish. Here are some basic car-washing tips.

When should I wash the car?

Don’t… wait for a layer of crud to accumulate before washing. Dead bugs, bird droppings, and chemicals from the atmosphere all leach acids that can strip away wax and eventually eat into your car’s paint. If left too long, they can cause damage that requires sanding and repainting the area to correct.

Do… wash off dead bugs, bird droppings, and tree-sap mist as soon as possible. Other than this, a weekly car wash will keep the finish in its best shape. In addition, if you live in an area that suffers from acid rain, rinse your vehicle off after a period of rainy weather. Otherwise, acidic chemicals in the rainwater will be left on the surface after the droplets have evaporated, leaving a mark that can permanently mar the paint.

What kind of products should I use?

Don’t… use household cleaning agents like hand soap, dishwashing detergent, or glass cleaner on the paint. These aren’t formulated for use on a car’s paint and may strip off the protective wax.

Do… use a dedicated car-wash product, which is milder and specifically designed for use on automotive paint. Apply the suds with a large, soft natural sponge or a lamb’s-wool mitt. See our car wax report for tips and advice on all types of waxes.

Grease, rubber, and road-tar deposits picked up from the road often accumulate around the wheel wells and along the lower edge of the body. These can be stubborn to remove and may require a stronger product, such as a bug-and-tar remover. Use a soft, nonabrasive cloth to remove these deposits, as they can quickly blacken your sponge.

Use a separate sponge to clean the wheels and tires, which may be coated with sand, brake dust, and other debris that could mar the car’s finish. Mild soap and water may work here; if not, a dedicated wheel cleaner may be required. Be sure the cleaner is compatible with the type of finish (paint, clear-coat, chrome, etc.) used on the wheels. A strong formula intended for mag wheels, for instance, can damage the clear coat that’s used on the wheels that come on today’s cars. To be on the safe side, choose a cleaner that’s labeled as safe for use on all wheels.

Are there any general guidelines I should follow when washing a car?

Don’t… wash your car when the body is hot, such as immediately after driving it or after it has been parked in direct sunlight for awhile. Heat speeds the drying of soap and water, making washing more difficult and increasing the chances that spots or deposits will form.

Don’t move the sponge in circles. This can create light, but noticeable scratches called swirl marks. Instead, move the sponge lengthwise across the hood and other body panels. And don’t continue using a sponge that’s dropped on the ground without thoroughly rinsing it out. The sponge can pick up dirt particles that can scratch the paint.

Do… rinse all surfaces thoroughly with water before you begin washing to remove loose dirt and debris that could cause scratching. Once you begin, concentrate on one section at a time, washing and rinsing each area completely before moving on to the next one. This ensures that you have plenty of time to rinse before the soap dries. Start at the top, and then work your way around the car.

Work the car-wash solution into a lather with plenty of suds that provide lots of lubrication on the paint surface. And rinse the sponge often. Using a separate bucket to rinse the sponge keeps dirt from getting mixed into the sudsy wash water.

When rinsing, use a hose without a nozzle and let the water flow over the car from top to bottom. This creates a sheeting action that helps minimize pooling of water.

How should I dry the car when I’m done?

Don’t… let the car air dry, and don’t expect a drive around the block to do an effective job. Either will leave watermarks, which in areas with hard water are the minerals left after evaporation. In addition, don’t use an abrasive towel or other material that can leave hairline scratches in the paint.

Do… use a chamois (natural or synthetic) or soft terry towels. If you choose towels, you may need several. It’s best to blot the water up instead of dragging the towel or chamois over the paint. The drying process can be speeded up by using a soft squeegee to remove most of the water on the body, but be sure the rubber is pliable and that it doesn’t pick up bits of dirt that can cause scratches.

Source: http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/cars/new-cars/news/2005/dos-and-donts-of-washing-your-car-1205/overview/index.htm

 

Video of how to wash your car:

Source: Youtube

D-Wade, Who Did You Call A Hero?

Posted on by Cool Pappa

Today I just so happened to catch a story on Dwyane Wade on ESPN’s E60 program. It seemed like a feel-good story about how Wade’s mother, who was addicted to drugs much of Wade’s life, has now made a recovery and re-established her relationship with her son. ESPN reported that Wade grew up in Chicago, protected and reared by his older sister, while his mother used and sold drugs from the family dwelling. After doing various stints in prison, Wade’s mom later got off drugs, became a minister, and was even called a “hero” by her son Dwyane.

Usually in stories like this, I often ask, “Now where was the father?” Sadly, it’s more of a rhetorical question, as I often know the answer. However, in this case, dad was around according to ESPN and Wade. “D-Wade’s” dad was interviewed in the story and had wanted his son to live with him early on as he knew of the things going on in his “baby-mama’s” household. Wade Sr. and Jolinda had divorced when Wade Jr. was a boy. As the boy was becoming a man, Wade Sr.’s son came to live with him with the agreement of his mother Jolinda.

Now, all I know about the life of these three people is what they and ESPN shared in this short piece. But I was left asking, “Should’ve his dad been his hero? Why was the story not about his father, who was now remarried with a family of his own, and how he brought his son home and raised him into a man despite the things he saw his mother do in front of his very eyes?” It seems that the only time the word “hero” should have been used in this story would have been to refer to his dad, not his mother.

This is to not take away from the progress that his mother Jolinda has made in her life. But all too often, even when men do the “right thing”, it really is “no thing” to our society. I dare say, that if D-Wade’s father would have been a drug addict until his college career, the outcome of this story would have been very different. We’ve all heard it before…the “that man was nothing but a sperm donor who didn’t step-up to the plate” or “he didn’t make me the man I am today, my mother was both the mom and dad in my house”. At last report, Shaquille O’Neal’s father was the one addicted to drugs and prison when he was a child, and the two still do not have a relationship to this day.

 

So until I hear otherwise, I want to give a shout of honor to Dwyane Wade Sr., because somebody needs to give him some credit. Not because his son went on to dribble a basketball well and make shots with the sweet-o-meter cranked to high. But because he stepped in to raise a son who would later be a father, a father that would later fight for his own two children in a bitter divorce custody dispute. (See: http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/truehoop/miamiheat/news/story?id=6212517&campaign=rss&source=NBAHeadlines)

Sometimes fathers can teach you much more than how to play sports, but how to be a CornerstoneDad. Sometimes they teach you how to fight for your kids, instead of how to just fight in the street.

Here’s to hoping to hear more about Dwyane Wade Sr. from Dwyane Wade Jr. and the rest of the media.

Perhaps the story below should have been called, The Good Dad:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssDjJof00EM