A Time For Change

Men – I certainly haven’t been around much at Furious Fathering. Homeschooling, shifting home priorities and the focus on becoming a better man for 2017 has made me cut my computer usage dramatically. Too much time on the keyboard and not enough time building a better life and relationships were impacting my world.

That said, I’m going to let some of you guys know that I’m not going to be mixing words very much on this page. I’ve been a bit cautious in what I say to not alienate anyone, but that’s about to change. There are too many men, especially young fathers, that need the straight truth, because no one is really giving it to them, and no one ever gave it to me. I cannot sit idly by and address the issues the same way many in society do every day. In the end, it is producing wimpy men that do not deserve to have their kids, because they will produce little skinny jean wearing confused “men” that will soon be used to destroy the rest of our community. Also, their special “baby momma” will have her ego fed even more and pull the same lame but effective game on the next guy she traps, urrrr loves, or needs as she’s hitting 30 and realizing nobody is checking for her anymore. So it’s time to settle down with that “nice guy”.

Are you that guy?

So if you aren’t ready for some iron-sharpen-iron discussions, you may want to drop out. If you think your life will be better if your special little snowflake that trapped you and pumped out your golden egg came back to you, you might wanna drop out. If you don’t want to see comments that rebuke the belief that your wife or your momma are the next best thing to Mary mother of Jesus, you might want to bounce. You’ve been warned. However, if you want to stay around and see where things go, challenge and exchange, then let’s get Furious with this dialogue, and become/build a better place for real father’s to come and learn how to lead.

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Do You Think The NCAA Is Racist? Boyce Watkins Makes An Argument, That Should Make You Think

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In upcoming podcasts, I’m going to touch on sports and its impact on our dreams, our children, and our parenting. Dr. Boyce Watkins of Your Black World and Financial Juneteenth, breaks down exactly where I plan to go on the topic. (If you can’t see the video, click HERE).

 

Although many parents still claim, “grades before games” or “we just play to learn important life lessons”, my years as both an athlete, trainer of athletes, and kids who have played a combined 40 years (that is a lot of mileage racked up on my cars and body carrying folding chairs) tell me other wise. For many, when that child shows athletic skill that transcends the average, and whispers begin, “…they could even get a scholarship”, “scouts may be coming to the school to see them play…” and the goal changes.

As I’ve discussed before, the idea for us to homeschool our children came from one of my athletes. It was at that moment I learned that many athletes, like celebrities, get homeschooled to take advantage of personal training and coaching. For some reason, the “what about socialization” question goes out the door, and in comes the “you have to do what you have to do to get to the top!”

Now for parents of black athletes, they really must make a conscious effort to put each opportunity in perspective.

How much of our child’s life are you willing to give to the school?

Are you willing to let them do anything to your son or daughter, just because they promise them a chance to the professional level?

Is some coach promising to be “dad”, when YOU are the father?

What is your child focusing on right now, athletics or academics?

What will your child do with his or her life if they do not make it to the professional level?

So check out Boyce and his other projects as well, as I’ll be promoting more of his great work that continues to expand.

In the comments below, I’d love to hear any stories you have on athletes that you know that beat, or were beaten, by the system.

Revenge of the Homeschooling Dad: Slave Trade Video Game

Reason number 1,652 that we should be teaching our children that truth at home.

All I can say is watch this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_Pfzv_71BY

Perhaps I could give them the benefit of the doubt if they had a Holocaust version as well. But I wonder why they do not?

I wonder if the game covered the lynchings, rape, family disconnection, in all it’s graphic and horrible detail like Call of Duty or Grand Theft Auto? Not that it makes it much better, but it would certainly show the inhuman sociological foundation our country is built upon.

To make a game such as this only reinforces the “purpose” for Africans in America, and that is what causes outrage. Now, I may have a different consideration of the game captures the amount of wealth that was created, passed down and still utilized from free slave labor. Is there an alternate ending of what America would have become WITHOUT slavery? It’s a video game right? So we can let our imaginations run wild.

Lynchings

Overall, this is what happens when places either have a lack of diversity or, it could even have been created by a descendent of a slave who now views him or herself from the perspective of the dominant society.

Sadly, the latter is the part that no video game could possibly capture. However, it has been the longest lasting effect of “African Immigration” (as some history books say).

CSD

 

If Only We Were As Serious About Domestic Terrorism As We Are With International Terrorism

.why am I supposed to be more threatened by international terrorists? The funny (or is it sad) thing is that I’ve seen so many swastikas, and KKK related symbols on bathroom walls, etc. down through the years, I almost didn’t notice it! But with the artistic skill involved, this one was quite special and noticeable.

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Sometimes, Do As I Say and Not As I Do, Can Save Your Eternal Life

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If God only used perfect people to get his work done, he would never have any workers. If we set our eyes on some man and ministry, we will see things that will make us stumble, so keep your eyes on God. This is never to excuse our shortcomings, but it’s amazing that scripture exposes the weaknesses and sins of every “hero” in its pages.

Perhaps one of the reasons God exposes the weakness of men in the bible is because it points to their need for a Savior. We cannot read scripture and worship Abraham, Moses, David, Paul, etc.. Their weaknesses point to the one who will deliver them, and He is our deliverance as well today.

Romans 7:23 – but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members.24Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?

CSD Saying Happy Father’s Day With Never Released Before Content

First, Happy Father’s Day to all my CSDs out there!

You know, it seems just like yesterday. The years I spent as a single-dad when my son was between 10-15 years old were the worst compared to the other 13 years. During this time period, I was struggling financially and trying to finish school to earn my degree, with the hope of coming up in this land of milk-n-honey. I was also trying to provide for my other children that were being born with my wife and also going to work at various places meant days that never ended and stress that felt like I was carrying a weight 24/7.

My poor sociology teacher had to read all about my struggles, as I poured my heart out in essay after essay. My son was at an age where he could choose (he was not given that “right” by me, but by his mom and the court) whether he wanted to come over to my home or not, and oftentimes for various reasons, he would not. Perhaps the ultimate knife in my chest was when he told the referee that he did not want to come to my home, as there were too many rules, he did not have fun and all we did was go over his grandparent’s house. My heart stopped beating that day in the court room, as I was fighting to maintain the visitation rights that I fought for when he was just a baby. I thought, “And this is how I get paid back?” “I’m being treated worse than Cain who said, ‘It ain’t mine’ and bounced. For those who have seen Menace To Society, they know what I’m talking about.

But it was all of those experiences that moved me to create this blog years later.

The essay below was one that I wrote in 2001 for my Social Science Theory class. My superb professor had us all develop a theory by the end of the semester, as she knew that social and psychological theories that change the world are not only born when you have a Ph.D.. So it is in the environment above that I have described, that my Alliance Theory was born. When I performed my research for the paper (yes, done without the internet and we had just got a computer for me to type this on), I learned that my theory had basically been previously presented and was known as Parental Alienation Syndrome.

I’ve never shared this publicly, and I’m posting pictures of the essay until I can type a more recent edition. Therefore, you get to see all of my grammar mistakes, the faded paper, etc.. But I wanted to share this on Father’s Day to once again encourage those of you struggling as well. You may not get to see your son or daughter today, as they may choose (or the mother may choose for them) to spend it with a new guy, with mommy or a step-father instead.

I know it hurts. It hurts to watch you and your child’s relationship melt and you seem to be the only one that cares. You know your child has no idea the impact that this is going to have in his or her life. But you hang in there. Never give up and cry to yourself if necessary. Emotions usually spring forth in the only way society allows men to grieve, and that’s through anger and violence. But you probably know that when you lose control in those arguments, you lose. She can just pick up her “toys” if you will, and go home. You look like the bad-guy, and to your child, you are that bad guy. Why? Read the essay below.

Make today a special day for yourself. It’s special because you are still there, whether your son or daughter understands right now or not.

Now this was written 14 years ago, but what do you think? How has your life experience been and does this theory fit your situation? Let me know in the comments below or email me.

So again, if that phone doesn’t ring or no one comes to visit, you at least get a heart felt Happy Father’s Day from CSD my man, and may God bless you.

Peace.

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