Goals

CornerstoneDad Podcast #13 – Is Purity A Realistic or Idealistic Goal For Kids Today? Panel Discussion With The Family

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WeAreFamily

This Is It!

This podcast is guaranteed to make my “Best of” show one day! I’m finally pleased to post part one of this terrific hot-mic discussion that I had with my wife, mother, sister, son, and his friend. Folks, this is our family and this is how we often talk when we get together, so consider it a “reality-show podcast”.

This is part one of our discussion, so in this episode we discuss:

Is purity even a realistic goal for young people to have in today’s society?

Is the current generation less pure than the baby-boomer generation?

Do women really give thought to the kind of father that they want for their children before laying down with a man?

Warning: Parental discretion is advised. I understand that some may not have talked to their children about sex or many of the subjects that we are going to discuss. Therefore, listen first, and determine if it’s age appropriate for your family. 

Your feedback is appreciated, so hit me up in the comment section or at the usual spots:

  • Facebook: CornerstoneDad
  • Twitter: CornerstoneDad

Click HERE to listen to Episode #13.

CSD Dinner Table Topic of the Day: College, Student Loans and 21st Century Sharecropping

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Definition of SHARECROPPER

: a tenant farmer especially in the southern United States who is provided with credit for seed, tools, living quarters, and food, who works the land, and who receives an agreed share of the value of the crop minus charges
Source: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sharecropper
share36s

When I graduated high school, I remember people who didn’t go to college saying, “I know people with college degrees that make less than I do and I didn’t go to college!”

Now, I’ll be one of the folks telling high school grads, “I went to college and got a degree and I make more money than average, but I’m still poorer than most people who didn’t go to college!”

“Under this system, black families would rent small plots of land, or shares, to work themselves; in return, they would give a portion of their crop to the landowner at the end of the year.

The sharecropping system also locked much of the South into a reliance on cotton, just at the time when the price for cotton was falling. In addition, while sharecropping gave African-Americans autonomy in their daily work and social lives, and freed them from the gang-labor system that had dominated during the slavery era, it often resulted in sharecroppers owing more to the landowner (for the use of tools and other supplies, for example) than they were able to repay. Some blacks managed to acquire enough money to move from sharecropping to renting or owning land by the end of the 1860s, but many more went into debt or were forced by poverty or the threat of violence to sign unfair and exploitative sharecropping or labor contracts that left them little hope of improving their situation.”

Source: http://www.history.com/topics/sharecropping

At the current rate, over the next few decades, we will likely return back to a time when only the affluent can afford a college education and those who previously had earned a college degree, will not be able to afford to send their own children to school and will be paying student loan payments out of their social-security checks.

“Forget hitting the books son, better go dribble that basketball or throw that football to get a scholarship!”

students-loans2

Oh, and before someone comments, “Well, if you can’t afford to pay for a college degree, then you shouldn’t get a loan to pay for one!”

As a Dave Ramsey fan, I agree.

So surely you don’t have any credit cards, a car note or a mortgage right? Because if you can’t pay cash for a house, then why should you feel entitled to get a loan to buy a home. After all, the amount many owe in student loan debt equals what they would pay for a home.

Also, I’ll agree more with that statement when our student loan debt is seen as “too big to fail” like the banks that loaned the money, and maybe it can just be wiped off the books.

…just like the folks that walked away from their houses when they bought more than they should have when those loans were flowing like water.

Quite honestly, college is still the best option for the young and old. However, my gripe is with the “wisdom” that getting the education is a guarantee to a great paying job, home ownership, and “you’ll make much more money than your peers that didn’t go to college over your lifetime.”

Well, none of those are absolute truths.

But you better be absolutely sure what you want to major in, how much does it pay in the end and know exactly what you can pay off. Because while the banks that loaned you the money are too big to fail, you aren’t…and you can’t file bankruptcy on student loan debt like they can!

Check out this article from blog.metrotrends.org

With national student loan debt of roughly $1 trillion, it’s no surprise that many Americans are worried about their student loans.

Student loan debt has surpassed credit card debt and is second only to mortgage debt among those age 29-37. This ballooning student loan debt is a contributor to the “lost generation” of 20- and 30-somethings, whose average wealth is lower than the average wealth of those in their 20s and 30s three decades ago.

We published a new brief on school-related debt, using the FINRA Investor Educational Foundation’s 2012 National Financial Capability Survey. One in five adults age 20 and older has school-related debt and concern about the ability to repay is pervasive. The majority of student debt holders (57 percent) is worried that they may be unable to repay that debt.

If Congress doesn’t reach a compromise and the rate of subsidized student loans doubles, student loan debt and the increased payment burden will increase stress around repayment.

Beyond the short-term burden of repaying loan balances and interest, this early debt can have ripple effects and hinder borrowers’ ability to get on a secure wealth-building path. It can delay building a rainy day fund, homeownership, and saving for retirement.

Some of our findings may not be shocking to those who write monthly checks to Sallie Mae, yet they illustrate the magnitude and pervasiveness of the issue:

  • Student loan debt affects people at all levels of educational attainment. Nine percent of those with just high school diplomas have school-related debt, possibly incurred for non-degree training or to fund a child’s education. Twenty-five percent of those with some college education but no degree have student loans.
  • Student loan debt disproportionately affects African Americans and Hispanics. African Americans and Hispanics are twice as likely to have student loan debt as compared with whites. The large racial wealth gap and lower wealth among families of color likely lead these students to more often turn to student loans to finance their education.
  • Student loan debt affects people at nearly all income levels. Twenty percent of those in households with annual incomes under $25,000 have student loans—that’s only 2 percent more than those earning $100,000 and up.
  • Concern about repaying student loan debt also cuts across economic and demographic groups (see figure below). Nearly three-fourths of those with incomes less than $25,000 are concerned about their ability to repay—and so is a still-substantial 36 percent of those earning above $100,000.

College is a good investment for those able to complete the degree, but roughly half of people do not. Out of the starting gate, students should consider the cost and completion rate at the institution they plan to attend, earnings in their field of study, and type of student loan (public or private). Helping young people take advantage of student loans to get their degrees—but avoid burying themselves in debt—is a step in the right direction toward economic stability and wealth accumulation.

studentdebt_graph

Illustration by Daniel Wolfe / The Urban Institute.

 

CornerstoneDad Podcast #12 – CSD On The M-I-C With J-Sizzle

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Broke-athletes

We have someone new joining the podcast, J-Sizzle!

J and I tried to limit our discussion to three topics, but we could barely make it. However, we still tried to catch up on some great topics that we’ve had on our minds that include:

  • ESPN’s 30-for-30: BROKE – We ponder the question, how could all of these athletes end up broke after making millions of dollars?
  • “I’d like to thank my lord and savior”…wait, what did Jamie Foxx just say? Did he say Barack Obama?
  • J-Sizzle answers the question that I will now ask every dad that appears on this show. He’s truly setting the bar high for the men that he comes in contact with, but what would your answer be to this all important question?

So tune in, check it out here

Podcast #12 with J-Sizzle

or on iTunes and feel free to let us know what you think!

 

Revenge of the Homeschooling Dad

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I’ve had it. I’m done. I’m tired of the comments.

I will come here to vent, but I may just vent on the people who feel the need to give me their opinion as well.

But if there are any homeschooling parents out there, feel free to chime in with your experiences as well.

I’m about to start a new section called: Revenge of the Homeschooling Dad.

First post:

Why are you asking about my kids socialization when all people complain about is how disrespectful children are these days, how self-centered they are, and how they aren’t learning anything in school…folks keep giving their unsolicited opinion to me, so I’m about to start giving mine….Oh yea, and they are so Biblically illiterate, that Jesus is nothing but a swear word to them, not their Savior.

Yea, it’s on now…if you want my skin to be thick enough for your opinions, I’m sure yours is thick enough to hear mine as well.

After all, I’m sure you went to school, so you know how to interact with various people and respect different views when my kids will not right?

CornerstoneDad Podcast #11 – Free Labor, Free Education or Just A Lack of Freedom?

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Kory Devon and I discuss the latest happenings in the sports world and try to come to an agreement on whether college athletes should get paid (legally) or not. What do you think? Sound off and let us know in the comments section!

This was actually recorded before podcast #10, so please go back and check out that episode if you’d like to hear a continuation of our discussion.

Click Podcast #11 to listen!

A Body Enslaved, But A Mind Set on Freedom: A Letter From A Former Slave To His “Master”

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In CornerstoneDad’s house, Black History Month is not in February, it is all year. There is never just a month that we watch “Martin Luther The King” videos (as we used to say in my elementary school), Eyes on the Prize or something on American slavery. Sorry, history is history and truth is truth, and those topics should not just be discussed by families with parents who descended from slaves but by ALL families and schools in America if they are truly teaching history.

So while I did not want to write anything on slavery (or MLK) this month, my wife sent me this article that desires attention. An enormous mind-map could be created from the words of this former slave.

I’d love to hear your thoughts as you read the letter that can be found here.

Parents of all people groups should share this tremendous letter with their children to (and the fact that it’s Black History Month is a good excuse if you’ve never tackled racial issues in your family before) give them insight into American slavery. It helps explain:

 

– Why descendants of slaves in America share the same last name as their slave owner. [Notice both are named Anderson?]

– American slavery’s hierarchy was NOT like biblical slavery and the slaves were not employees. [Notice that Jourdon Anderson speaks of the attempted murder on his life as if this was no big deal or common?]

– The importance that Jourdon Anderson placed on education as obviously, he was a very intelligent man himself. [So not all slaves couldn’t read, write or do arithmetic.]

– How Jourdon overcame the stigma placed on him and his family in the north as people knew they were former slaves.

– How descendants of slaves started on an uneven playing field as they left fleeing for their lives in some cases like Jourdon, they started from nothing in a new location WITH FAMILIES and were never, ever compensated fairly for the work they had done for most of their lives [after 30 years, shouldn’t Jourdon have been retiring by American standards?]

– The faith and knowledge Jourdon had that God was going to judge and was still in control as he wrote, “We trust the good Maker has opened your eyes to the wrongs which you and your fathers have done to me and my fathers, in making us toil for you for generations without recompense” and later said, “Surely there will be a day of reckoning for those who defraud the laborer of his hire.”

Galations 6:7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. – 

Ecclesiastes 12:14 For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.

Luke 12:4-5 Do not fear those who can kill the body and afterwards have no more that they can do. But I will warn you whom to fear: fear the One who after He has killed has authority to cast into Hell; yes, I tell you, fear Him.

1 Timothy 1:8-11 8 We know that the law is good if one uses it properly. 9 We also know that the law is made not for the righteous but for lawbreakers and rebels, the ungodly and sinful, the unholy and irreligious, for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers, 10 for the sexually immoral, for those practicing homosexuality, for slave traders and liars and perjurers—and for whatever else is contrary to the sound doctrine 11 that conforms to the gospel concerning the glory of the blessed God, which he entrusted to me.

(Don’t be mad at me, I didn’t say it, the Bible did…you know, we do claim to be a Christian country and all…right? “One nation, under God…”America…God shed his grace on thee…” and all those other things we learned in school…remember?)

There are many more points that could be brought up, but I’m going to ask that you chime in with a few from what you read.

To me, Joudon Anderson is a true American hero. While he will never have a county, school and other structures built in his honor like slave owners such as the Macomb’s in Michigan, he showed tremendous respect, dignity and wisdom in dealing with his former captor and deceiver.

…and you know, I have a feeling that if ole P.A. Anderson would have offered him the world financially, Mr. Jourdon Anderson still would not have returned “to his old master”.

That’s freedom to die for.

CornerstoneDad Knowledge Nugget: CNN Cuts Short Its Awkward Interview With John Carlos Because Of Technical Difficulties

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Last month I purchased The John Carlos Story (http://www.johncarlos.org/JohnCarlos/JohnCarlos-TheBook.html) for my two oldest boys. While I cannot wait for one of them to finish the book so I can start working my way through it, I have been listening to a number of interviews by Dr. John Carlos and David Zirin as they promote and tell the story behind the story.

But CNN (not Fox News) seemed to have another agenda in mind when they wanted to interview Dr. Carlos. Funny how this “mishap” as you will see, is an excellent example of the story of John Carlos and Tommie Smith. As long as they do what the nation and media wants them to do and say, great. Let us paint the portrait and you be the brush.

However, if you know anything about Dr. John Carlos, Tommie Smith, Peter Norman and Dr. Harry Edwards, you know these guys paint their own portrait, tell their own story, and the truth about America as well.

Click link below to watch this SHORT interview:

http://deadspin.com/5856071/cnn-cuts-short-its-awkward-interview-with-john-carlos-because-of-technical-difficulties?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+deadspin%2Fexcerpts+%28Deadspin+excerpts%29

Dad’s, if you’re unfamiliar with the story of John Carlos and Tommie Smith and their protest during the 1968 Olympics held in Mexico City, please check it out and learn more. This was truly a pivotal and misunderstood moment in world history. This is also a tremendous teaching moment for your kids: Will they be willing to take a stand for what is right, if it may cost them their life?

What did Carlos and Smith have to gain by keeping silent and not protesting for human rights? Certainly fame, money, power and privilege and all we have to do is look at the lives of Jesse Owens, Carl Lewis and Usain Bolt to see the riches that can be gained just from being the fastest sprinter in the world. But what did they gain from their silent protest? Persecution, slander (by their own nation especially), broken marriages (the wife of John Carlos later took her own life), and unemployment.

How would sports be different today if more athletes would be willing to put all of that on the line to help others?

How would society be different today if more parents were willing to give up many of the same advantages to raise our children and do what is right as well?

To hear Runner John Carlos: No Regrets On Olympic Salute on NPR, click link below: http://www.npr.org/2011/12/07/143271325/olympian-john-carlos-no-regrets-on-olympic-salute

Happy New Year – from CornerstoneDad

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Dads, have you made that New Year’s Resolution yet? Whether you have or have not, check out the tips at All-Pro Dad titled:

Our Classic 10 Ways to be an All Pro Dad  http://www.allprodad.com/top10/parenting/our-classic-10-ways-to-be-an-all-pro-dad/

You can find details at the link above, but here’s a peek at the list:

1.) Love your wife

2.) Spend time with your kids

3.) Be a role model

4.) Understand and enjoy your children

5.) Show affection

6.) Secure your family’s financial future

7.) Eat together as a family

8.) Discipline with a gentle spirit

9.) Pray and worship together

10.) Realize you are a father forever

If you have any other good ideas of goals for dad’s or would like to just share some that you have, let us know in the comments section!

Make 2012 the year you become the dad that you want to be and the year you help make your sons and daughters the men and women that they are to be.

Discipline, Leadership, Life

Introducing: TIA – The Next American Idol?

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Message for more young people: Stop teaching yourself how to play video games and teach yourself how to play an instrument or learn a skill!

I think the best parts of American Idol are the shows highlighting the people who miss notes like Tim Tebow in the 1st quarter of a Bronco game. But you know, not all of the performers on the “worst of” shows who audition know that they can’t sing. Many have probably received standing ovations from their family at reunions or in their church. Lets just say, the hometown crowd can be quite forgiving. Therefore, I didn’t know what to expect when I recently asked my little cousin to sing for me for the first time while recently visiting the family.

Yes, I remember when…I remember when she was born…I remember that squeaky little voice…and I’ve really missed her and her siblings since her family has moved. Trust me, I don’t really miss other people’s kids, whether they are my family members or not, but I’ve really missed my little cousins.

Hopefully her dad, who is definitely a CornerstoneDad, will make it on an upcoming podcast episode (and Happy Birthday Big Cuz since it’s right around the corner). He has a tremendous testimony, much wisdom, and he was the first in my age group that said, “We are going to have a ton of children regardless of what people say or our circumstances…”

Six kids later…

But back to Tia, I was so impressed at her ability to not only sing, but she also taught herself how to play the guitar plus she writes and composes her own songs.

So check out this video I took with my Canon T1 (the transitions would have been better with a real video camera so forgive me videophiles). Tia allowed me to record her after one of her classes at college. Her first performance was totally impromptu while sitting in the house with fuzzy slippers on, so I figured she certainly deserves a better presentation of her skills.

Would Tia ever audition for American Idol? Who knows, but if she ever decides to do so I think she’d be celebrating with, “I’m going to Hollywood!” and making the family proud every step of the way.

Now Tia, how about that theme song for the CornerstoneDad Podcast huh? Yea I know, family’s always trying to get the hook-up…

Enjoy the video and please check her out at her YouTube page at .

What Do Reggie Jackson and My Father Have In Common?

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Today, Mr. October Reggie Jackson turned 65 years old. My dad recently turned nearly the same age at almost the same time. Reggie Jackson is a lover of muscle cars, my dad is as well. Reggie Jackson’s public persona seems extremely complex. Well, my dad’s public and private personas are complex as well. Reggie seemed to be one who did not believe in turning the other cheek. My dad’s advice to me was always throw the first punch because you don’t know if he’ll lay you out with his first blow. Reggie was born in Pennsylvania, my dad’s relatives are in Pennsylvania (okay, that one’s a stretch but I still counted it as a kid!).

But there is one glaring difference between the two men. Reggie made his fame and fortune from baseball and my dad hated sports. He made his fame at home and his fortune in the plant. Both men got dirty and worked with their hands, but in two very different ways.

Yet, had it not been for my father, I never would have looked up to “the straw that stirs the drink” (and Reggie did not mean that the way the reporter told it by the way).

Despite the fact that my dad never liked sports, he never discouraged my passion for baseball. As a matter of fact, two things he taught me early on that I’ve carried for over 30 years:

1.) Do not cheer for the home team, because they are losers.

2.) Look at Reggie, and how he handles himself, and that’s how you must handle yourself in this world.

 Dad knew the impact the ‘hood could have had on me. While we weren’t exactly living in the projects, many of the problems of the projects existed, just in a cleaner neighborhood. Selling drugs, or what we called “rollin'”, was still the fastest way for a kid to make a lot of money and have a lot of girls fast. Shootings across the street from our house were common along with break-ins, car theft, and fighting. Thankfully, we also had many parents working solid middle-class jobs to always keep the neighborhood a float. Since they weren’t allowed to move into traditional white suburbs, they were forced to stay in their own community so in many ways, it benefited us all as a whole.

What we also had commercially, was a lack of black athletes on television when they were not on the field. But when dad saw how Reggie mastered the King’s English and commanded respect for his knowledge of the game and demeanor, he was wise to tell me to observe. Reggie often commentated for ABC in the ’70s and ’80s if the Yankees were out of the playoffs.

Little did I know at that time that one day I would have to at least know many of the rules of the King’s English as well when I grew up. I would also have to not be the “typical nigga or black guy” that many of my colleagues would expect me to be, just like Reggie. I would have to talk a certain way at job interviews, avoid being labeled and yet stand up for myself and prove that I deserved to be in that class or office and not because of Affirmative Action. At the same time, I would have to be just as complex, for people in America have a hard time understanding how you can be pro-black and yet marry someone of a different race. I’m sure Reggie ran into this as to some black folks, Reggie was a sell-out with his proper talking, candy bars, and white girls. But Reggie seemed to always make sure that he represented himself and the black community well. He spoke out about teams that did not have enough black players and even advised former teammate Willie Randolph not to take the Detroit Tiger job. They were the worst of the worst in Major League baseball. Reggie threw out the question the black community always asks, “Why do we only get the job/call/White House when things cannot get any worse? That’s just setting us up to fail!”

I can’t say I idolized Reggie. The man never put food on my table, but he did wave at me when I yelled his name at a California Angels game…he did…really! I’ve memorized many of his stats, read his autobiography, visited the Baseball Hall of Fame to have my picture taken with his bust, and even named one of my kids after him. But my fascination with Mr. Jackson was never about him, but about what he represented. He was a man of class, determination, dependable, clutch-performer, and he danced to the beat of his own drum all the while paying homage to those like Robinson, Aaron, and Mays that bought the drum.

Overall, the man was much like my father.

So dad, who are you allowing to influence your son? Is it a street pimp, a corporate pimp, a drug-dealer, or a prescription drug-dealer? Do those people reflect the values that you want your son to have or the values that you have or at least want to have?

Understand this, somebody and something will influence your boys. You better take advantage of the time that you have to determine what kind of influence that will be. I’m glad my dad had the insight to do that when I was younger. While I’m no where near the man that I wanted to be, I’m no where near the man I could have been.

Happy Birthday Dad and Mr. October!

CornerstoneDad’s Greatest Day Ever

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Can a cold winter day feel like a beautiful California day?

Well, when kids experience something great in their lives, they often say, “Today was the greatest day ever!” I think CornerstoneDad’s should say the same thing when they take care of business and do something that they know will impact their kid’s life, even if the child does not know it yet.

Today, my “greatest day ever” or GDE, was spent with my 11 year-old son. Since this week at work is rather slow in the office and I only planned to work part of the day there, I figured it would be a great time to take him with me.

On the way to work, we chatted about the importance of loving your work, so you will never have to “work” a day in your life. I let him know that dad is not there yet and probably will not ever get there at his current job. Yet, I am very fortunate to have the job I have as well as some great managers. But I know my God-given talents are not best utilized at this point and even at his age now, he can begin to take notice of the skills God has equipped him with that will allow him to add value just by being himself.

Did you ever notice even in Hollywood, the kids generally grow up to be an extension of the characteristics that the show writers had in them as a little child?

Do you really think Michael Evans did not at least become a lawyer when he grew up?

Many of us lose the script or just move to a sitcom with poor ratings instead of being what the Master Writer designed us to be in the first place.

"We should have just stayed on Three's Company!"

Time was spent meeting my colleagues and I had him brainstorm ideas for creating his own blog. I felt it was extremely important for him to utilize the quiet time that he never gets to enjoy, as his time and space are always being shared with his other siblings when at home. Before leaving to attend my meeting, we called my dad and they had a moment to catch up on things, something I encourage my son to do often.

Get the old school wisdom while it is here, because one day you, or the wisdom, may be gone.

My manager said that my son would be more than welcome to sit in on the meeting and later my son did join in and sit in the back. During this time he got to see how my company does business with a client who works for a major American company, but he is Japanese. A true demonstration of our global world, diversity in the workplace, and why it is important to be at least be proficient in the “King’s English”.

After our time at work, we headed for the movie theater to check out Tron 3D. There aren’t many action filled PG-movies out there, as thrillers like Transformers and GI Joe are getting closer to R-rated flicks than something you can take your boys (or girls if they like action) to see at the local “overcharge-o-plex” theater. Just like dad, my son looked at his watch and asked, “Why is the movie starting at 2 o’clock when it was supposed to start at 1:30?”

Yea, my thoughts exactly kid.

What was the highlight of my son’s day? Seeing dad with dual-monitors! But 10+ years from now, whether I’m here or not, I think he will benefit seeing dad at work, understanding more of the business world, and of course being the center of attention for much of the day. I remember only a few times visiting my dad at the plant. I also remember going with him to pick up his paycheck a couple of times as well. There is much value of those trips for our children, especially our boys, as they can learn so much just watching dad get up and go to the office, or the factory, or the construction site, or wherever else you go to “keep the lights on”. I am amazed at the number of grown men that cannot keep a job because they cannot get out of the bed to punch the clock. Don’t let your kids be one of those people.

As I told my son, I may not want to go to work, but I go because of the commitment I have to our family and to God. Colossians 3:23-24 says, ”Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”

I look forward to more GDE days with all of my children. Dad, plan some with your children or even grandchildren. Take one out at a time if you can. Each child is an individual with separate needs and wants from you. As they get older, the need for individual time increases even more. And if you don’t give it to them, what are you going to do when they get it from somewhere else?

Great days with dad will equal great children and leaders in this society. Never underestimate, or allow other people to underestimate your influence. 2011 is nearly here, so how about making a goal to schedule at least three or four GDE events with your kids? Post your days and ideas here as we would love to hear how things went for you!